August 7, 2014

Mitch Caesar, Esq.
Broward County Democratic Party
1832 N. University Drive
Plantation, FL 33322

Ave Mitch!

There you were last night, talking on TV, as if you knew what you were talking about. This time it was about never ending high tides. This ever growing perpetual tsunami, doubtless caused by the vile Koch Brothers and their evil plot to drown polar bears by burning coal to produce electricity to power all the A/Cs in Florida will soon make Wynona, MN the surfing capitol of America. The only possible solution, or so you said last night, is to elect Chucky Crist. I just know that the first line of his obit will be “His favorite color was plaid”.

[Is it possible to suggest in a world where Swift has gone down the memory hole that rising sea levels, assuming that they are rising, may give us some surcease from both the border problem and the Ebola problem? It isn’t? OK. Never mind.]

I enclose a letter I sent to Mitch Berger, Esq, a kindred spirit and a fellow traveling useful idiot, about a possible solution to a most vexing problem.

Despite hundreds, nay, thousands of drowned polar bears washing up on the beach of the Obama summer rental – a Tea Party plot to disrupt his vacation? I hope not – people still buy beachfront property. Party affiliations aside, I hope that contingency plans have been made to get him and his family out should the 654 foot high wall of water arrive early. As bad as President B.O. is the thought of VP Curley Biden trying to get his thumbs, apposable digits being an alien concept to him, working together on the nuclear launch codes, is truly terrifying.

But I digress.

Less than a month ago an acre and a quarter of land on Biscayne Bay was bought for $1,250,000,000 – that’s “B” as in billions. That’s $1,000,000,000 an acre. Presumably a shelter for pre-pubescent teenage alien interlopers from Central America will not be built there, right?

You and Mr. Berger, as mush brained modern American lawyers, should lead a crusade – that word is still Kosher, yes? – against giving legal advice on any real estate advice on properties that are within sight of water or properties that qualify for Federal flood insurance.

I mention that because the Miami Herald tells us this morning that 6 buildings on South Beach purchased in 2012 for $191,000,000 were just sold for $342,000,000. That’s a profit of $151,000,000, before legal fees. No wonder the “Fries with that?” folks at Mickey D’s want $15.00 an hour. [As an aside, do you think it’s safe to say that somebody is celebrating a past due Summer of Recovery? Go 1%! Do you think the profits will be “inverted”?]

You talk the talk but can you walk the walk?

Take the pledge.

“Anyone buying property on or near the water will do so without legal advice from me.”


X……………………………………here




From a Proud Global Warmer





Kevin Smith