Anna Fusco

Broward Teachers’ Union

600 N. University Drive

Tamarac, FL 33321

RE: How can I miss you if you won’t go away? Some comments on your usual confusion about the anus/elbow location in today’s mini Op-Ed in today’s Sun Sentinel.

Ms. Fusco,

Fair warning, you boob.

I am going to use some big words and some big girl ideas. 

Buckle up.

You cite “overemphasis on test scores” as one of the reasons Why Johnny and Fatima still can’t read. Would not Logic dictate that if we do away with all scores self-esteem would increase and test results would soar? Remove all scoreboards, being sure to dispose of same in an environmentally sensitive manner. All games, at all levels begin in a scoreless tie and, more importantly, end in a scoreless tie. Everybody gets a participation trophy 

Wouldn’t this year’s Super Bowl have been just as exciting if the NFL had banned scorekeeping? Silly question. Of course it would have.

The serendipitous benefit here is that it would have a disparate beneficial impact on chicks. The extra burden of winning and losing requires that they have a “safe space”, a space where all the rules governing gravity are, y’know what I’m sayin’, suspended. Maybe in a show of solidarity with their Muslim sisters the ladies on the field hockey team wear burqas, hijabs, fatwas, and hockey masks. I can’t wait for the multi-cultural, diversity conscious guilty First World cabal who run the schools put non-gender specific lavatories into schools with a significant Muslim enrollment. I dare say the next PTA meeting will suggest that crucifixions will enjoy a comeback.

You cite the old African proverb that either it takes a village to raise a child or every village needs an idiot or there are more idiots than villages or some combination of the above. My favorite African proverb involve the interaction of a duplicitous scorpion and a naïve frog. Send a SASE.

You are about to enter the dark world of non-sequiturs. It is the world where sunt leones and terra leones rule. It is an arena where Logic and Rhetoric collide. Who says the Trivium is dead? Send a bib SASE.

The Sun Sentinel, the medium that gives you the weekly platform to proclaim that “Yes, I am a friggin’ moron”, has a Page 3 story about participatory democracy in the Congo. Due to sensible and strictly enforced gun controls, decapitation is enjoying a comeback. The paper tells us that 42 Congolese policemen were beheaded. I guess “Not All Black Lives Matter” is the slogan in the Dark Continent. 

Is there a connection is any of these disparate facts? Of course not! It is the reason why the term “non-sequitur” was honed.  It is the stuff that modern American Liberals thrive on. Plus it is organic and gluten free. It is the one thing that feeds your double-helixed gene, the one that allows you to go years without letting a single thought enter your battered brain.

You end your mini-Jeremiad by hectoring us with the mind numbing mantra “Save our Schools”. You say that the Broward Teachers’ Union is ready to help. “Ready to help”, like the fox volunteering to take attendance in the hen house. The only ting you can do to help education would be to “Exit Stage left, pursued by a bear”.

Once you are on the road, don’t stop until you reach Avernus, the final resting place most favored by teachers.

Kevin Smith