Thursday, March 9, 2017

March 6, 2017

Greg Meyer – “Spokesman”
Fort Lauderdale Airport
2200 SW 45th Street
Dania Beach, FL 33312

RE: “He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers, to harass our people and eat out their substance.”

Mr. Meyer,

“The best use of the parking garage is to generate
the revenue to maintain our low-cost infra-structure…”
The Sun Sentinel
March 5, 2017
Page 20A
You

Astonishing. Simply astonishing. And on several different levels

#1 – The airport hires smart people to launch and land planes safely. I guess the goals that Affirmative Action suggests compelled it to hire a dumb ass, you, for example, someone like you, to maintain the modern American Bell Curve of really smart v really dumb.
#2 – The customer is profit. Everyone on the other side of the counter, everyone, including you, especially you, is overhead.
#3 – Here’s another light bulb idea. In the dreaded private sector, all successful businesses, regardless of what business they are in, have one huge thing in common. It is like the silver tip grizzly sitting, quietly, in the corner. If you open the envelope you will see “happy customers” as the common denominator. 
#4 – “I will not insult my customers nor will I take advantage of them.” Repeat as many times as necessary.

It raising revenues in ever increasing amounts is your
raison d’etre I suggest that here are several
untapped sources of revenue.

A – If you are being mugged the police will not intervene until you give them $100 towards the purchase of a new bullet proof vest.
B – The firemen stay on the truck until they get $100 for chow for the Dalmatian.
C – Put the taxman on commission. The more money he makes for his bosses the more he makes for himself. An all-around win/win.
D – Make all involved in any construction permitting process partners in the venture. Talk about “shovel ready” jobs getting the high-ball green light. Use the template of the Chinese People’s Liberation Army. Those Gomers sure know how to get that building built. Who says we can’t learn from foreigners, particularly the clever Chinese.
E – Traffic cops can “create” their own express lanes and off-hour reduced tolls for a small emolument.
F – Charge admission and exit fees to and from all government buildings + no change given.
G – Rent a Judge day. Legalize it and tax it, just like marijuana.
I – Have a means test for public transit fares.
J – How about a sale/lease back for the airport. Monetize the asset, you putz.

It seems to me that the qualifications for your job are simple: A double digit IQ, total tone deafness, y dos cojones grandes. Where else can those dumb schmucks go? Besides, “If God didn’t want them shorn he wouldn’t have made them sheep.”







Kevin Smith




PS – I almost forgot. No Milton Friedman or George Orwell books in airport book stores.

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