Posts
May 30, 2012
Mayor Richard Kaplan
5581 West Oakland Park Boulevard
Lauderhill, FL 33313
RE: It’s not easy being green. It’s easy being stupid.
Mr. Mayor,
“Anticipating a green future, Mayor Richard Kaplan wants to make
sure new homes built in the city can accommodate electric car chargers and
solar roof panels without their owners having to pay for costly retrofits.”
The Sun Sentinel
May 29, 2012
At last, at last, Milton Friedman notwithstanding, there is such a thing as a free lunch.
Just when I think the bottom has been reached, just when I think “it” can’t get much worse, just when I think that the number of horses’ asses is coming back into balance with the number of horses’ heads [Shouldn’t those numbers always be equal?}
a modern American Liberal in a public position steps up and says something so stupendously, egregiously stupid that Guinness must create a new category of public boobery.
#1 – “One million [1,000,000] electric cars by 2015” – Mayor Kaplan
Some people shouldn’t drink gin in the morning. You, for instance. In fact, Listerine has too much alcohol for you. Here’s some more really useful information for you. Sharp instruments? Heavy machinery? Avoid them like a pulled pork sandwich on Shabbos.
The only chance of getting to one million [1,000,000] electric cars by 2015 will come from the Bankruptcy Court giving the tax loss carry forward of Solyndra to a to be formed consortium of Match Box Cars and Tonka Trucks so they can finance 28 hour a day, 8 days a week construction of those cute little puppies.
#2 – The fastest way to Go Green and Get Green in Lauderhill is to turn off the air conditioning at City Hall. Start with your office. Then go the office dispensing permits.
Next stop, the tax collection office
. Any place that has a Florida Power and Light meter recording the wasteful burning of fossil fuels, the 7 League Boot Carbon Footprint destruction of the ozone layer and the sacred Rain Forest, the explosion of soon-to-be-clubbed to death baby seals since the polar bears drowning because of Global Warming guarantees that there is nothing left to eat them, inter alia – Did I mention teenage obesity, bullying, and the heartbreak of psoriasis? - is to have its plug pulled post haste, cold turkey, and double quick.
Open the windows. Hydrate. Hydrate.
Here’s a bonus.
It will save the manatees and lead to a “fairer” tax system.
All you have to do you ohmadahn, you Brobdanaglian boob, is to hit the off switch.
Fame, glory, and automatic induction into the modern American Liberal Hall of Fame is within your grasp.
Kevin Smith
PS – If a Florida Power & Light meter buying electricity from consumers sends a near orgasmic tingle up your leg why not harness teenage overweight bullies to a treadmill hooked up to the city’s main meter? You won’t need a photo ID to identify them. In addition to being so big that if they step on their cat’s tail it dies they are always on the lookout for kids younger than they are to give them Noogies. The Law of Unintended Consequences says that only good things can happen. Fat kids get skinny; bullied kids don’t get bullied; FP&L owes you money. “The voice of the turtle will be heard in the land.”
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
May 28, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
My dear Professor,
If, as you write, “Apathy is the enemy of the electorate” how would you describe the people of North Carolina voting against same sex marriage by a 61 to 39 margin?
If memory serves, same sex marriage has been on ballots in 32 states. [I add as an aside that referendums, along with its much beloved twin initiatives, were the darlings of modern American Liberals for a long time.] Not one state – California included – has voted for it.
Is that apathy?
If you could outlaw outlaw out-of-state contributions from groups like the NRA would the same restrictions apply to NARAL or Emily’s List? When the President charges $40,000 for a one legged chicken dinner do you think all that money stays in one state?
In a typical display of modern American Logic it is OK to ban something, anything as long as the right things are the only things banned. It might be ignorance or it might be apathy that makes modern American Liberals begin every political conversation with a rock in one hand and a cudgel in the other.
I quote Frank Layden, a great American, who said ”I don’t know and I don’t care”.
Kevin Smith
warriorbardit@bellsouth.net
PS – You must be reading the Debbie Wasserman-Schultz play book. She compares apples to oranges to coconuts. I never thought she was dumb. Maybe she’s spending too much time with Curley Biden. You say that “apathy is the mother of extremism [and] extremism is the father of disempowerment”. Wazupwidat? You rale against “partisan gerrymandering”. How about “non-partisan gerrymandering”? How else would felon Alcee Hastings have gotten to Congress save for having a district created that would have sent Nat Turner, Step-n-Fetchit, H. Rap Brown, or O.J. Simpson to the House?
Ain’t this a great country?
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
My dear Professor,
If, as you write, “Apathy is the enemy of the electorate” how would you describe the people of North Carolina voting against same sex marriage by a 61 to 39 margin?
If memory serves, same sex marriage has been on ballots in 32 states. [I add as an aside that referendums, along with its much beloved twin initiatives, were the darlings of modern American Liberals for a long time.] Not one state – California included – has voted for it.
Is that apathy?
If you could outlaw outlaw out-of-state contributions from groups like the NRA would the same restrictions apply to NARAL or Emily’s List? When the President charges $40,000 for a one legged chicken dinner do you think all that money stays in one state?
In a typical display of modern American Logic it is OK to ban something, anything as long as the right things are the only things banned. It might be ignorance or it might be apathy that makes modern American Liberals begin every political conversation with a rock in one hand and a cudgel in the other.
I quote Frank Layden, a great American, who said ”I don’t know and I don’t care”.
Kevin Smith
warriorbardit@bellsouth.net
PS – You must be reading the Debbie Wasserman-Schultz play book. She compares apples to oranges to coconuts. I never thought she was dumb. Maybe she’s spending too much time with Curley Biden. You say that “apathy is the mother of extremism [and] extremism is the father of disempowerment”. Wazupwidat? You rale against “partisan gerrymandering”. How about “non-partisan gerrymandering”? How else would felon Alcee Hastings have gotten to Congress save for having a district created that would have sent Nat Turner, Step-n-Fetchit, H. Rap Brown, or O.J. Simpson to the House?
Ain’t this a great country?
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Democratic National Committee
May 28, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Redskins & Injuns, feather merchants, and why after the first lie there are no others.
Dearest Darling Little Debbie, Debbie,
In my bid to reach across the aisle, to show a sense of compromise that, Thank God, is still lacking in Congress, to show you that I really, really care I was going to gently, oh so gently, admonish you for some of your more recent gaffes.
Your attempts to make Joe “Curley” Biden sound like he knows what he is talking about are admirable. After all, that boob is but a heartbeat away from the ultimate RESET button. Do you remember when Julianne Malveaux prayed that Justice Clarence Thomas’s wife feed him heavy cream, fried foods, and give him lard in an IV in the hopes that the racist sickness of hypertension might kill him? Maybe the Koch Brothers have taken over the White House mess. In this instance “mess” means kitchen, not the general state of things. Maybe they have hookers servicing the Secret Service while one of their thugs pours gravy – taking a cue from Hamlet - in the Dumbolike ears of B.O.
Since I do these things with a velvet glove, a wry sense of humor, a spot on knowledge of Political Science, History, and Literature – things of which you have zero familiarity, let alone knowledge – and a Flashman-like sangfroid of the dangers of getting on your bad side – Remember, you sicced the coppers on me – I know you look forward to my little notes.
Your comments on apples, oranges, and that reliable old chestnut, coconuts, are beyond the universe of sniggering. You make Professor Irwin Corey sound like Sir John Gielgud reading from the Book of Common Prayer.
Your premise on Venture Capital, the one that says it is evil while simultaneously saying taking campaign contributions from card carrying Venture Capitalists is good, shows that modern American Liberal shills need constant chiropractic care. As soon as flip-flopping becomes an Olympic sport the first team will be assembled from Democratic gun slingers. Gray’s Anatomy will have to be rewritten when X-ray evidence of a lumbar/thoracic convulsion akin to a Slinky going up a down escalator is revealed. The ability to remove your own tonsils from the inside, while it may well be an admirable trait, is not a prerequisite for public punditry.
The latest lightning bolt from Ground Zero on the economy, like taking dating etiquette lessons from Mary Magdalene, says that Venture Capital produces wealth without jobs. The country knows how to produce jobs without wealth. It’s called the United States Post Office. With the exception of George Soros it is a truism that creating wealth also creates jobs. I suggest the example of FedEx as one that did both. Anyone who says the opposite deserves to have his/her face on a piñata.
Wait a minute!
Somebody’s face is on a piñata.
The Republican Governor of South Carolina, a woman of color, had her face attached to a piñata at a Democratic Party picnic. As the state Chairlady hit her SEIU thugs yelled “Raghead”, “Dothead”, and “WOG”. I kept waiting for “Macaca”, the ultimate insult, but I did not hear it. Would those words make it a hate crime?
When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you concluded a la Sherlock Holmes that the reason for this crime was Right-Wing radio in general, Rush Limbaugh in particular, and the aura of hate fueled by the Tea Party. Your silence about the racistl assault on Governor Haley must be judged by the Latin adage “qui tacet consentire”. Silence gives consent.
Logic must dictate that you are content as long as the basher is a Democrat and the bashee is a Republican. It really is easy to be modern American Liberal. As soon as you make plaid your favorite color the rest is easy.
These things I will not do today.
I am declaring a unilateral truce – no conditions, none whatsoever – because obviously no one has told you that your guy, President Barack Hussein Obama, Lord Barack the Beneficent to his close friends, wants children, particularly children of color whose Moms are single parenst, to drown.
When you were a Florida legislator you, in the parlance on modern American Liberals, “led the fight” against toddlers drowning. I think it was the leading cause of death for children in Broward County under the age of 5. Since it is obvious that women and minorities suffer disproportionately from every villain caused epidemic of social ills the number of African-American children who drowned here was staggering.
You sponsored legislation requiring bottom drain covers, lines separating the shallow from the deep, fences, and yet more rescue devices.
It was obvious that your Italianate hand was guiding this administration’s legislative and regulatory attempts to ban both bullying and drowning.
The President, by suspending enforcement of the rules governing pools, just made a calculated political decision that the country could afford a few more minority drownings as long as he got the votes of the people who own pools. A case could be made for the Koch Brothers having gotten to him. That’s the Chicago Way, isn’t it?
I am positive that if you knew this you would blow the top off the Capitol dome.
How could you do otherwise?
T.E. Lawrence once said “Not much can be gotten from a sure victory but there is much to be gained from a sure defeat”.
I am typing this about 12 yards from my pool.
Bring your reporters and their cameras.
Challenge the President to reverse his racially cruel ruling.
Debbie, Debbie in the next edition of “Profiles in Courage” has a nice ring to it.
After all, it’s for the children.
Kevin Smith
PS – I feel sooooo good! I went a whole note without once mentioning Elizabeth Warren AKA Princess Lying Sack of Bison Dung. I have it on unimpeachable authority that Manitou is very pissed off at her. Also, Mammon and Lucre, the Gods of Venture Capital want to know whose fingerprints are on Solyndra as it is officially FUBAR. [FUBAR? Send a SASE]
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Redskins & Injuns, feather merchants, and why after the first lie there are no others.
Dearest Darling Little Debbie, Debbie,
In my bid to reach across the aisle, to show a sense of compromise that, Thank God, is still lacking in Congress, to show you that I really, really care I was going to gently, oh so gently, admonish you for some of your more recent gaffes.
Your attempts to make Joe “Curley” Biden sound like he knows what he is talking about are admirable. After all, that boob is but a heartbeat away from the ultimate RESET button. Do you remember when Julianne Malveaux prayed that Justice Clarence Thomas’s wife feed him heavy cream, fried foods, and give him lard in an IV in the hopes that the racist sickness of hypertension might kill him? Maybe the Koch Brothers have taken over the White House mess. In this instance “mess” means kitchen, not the general state of things. Maybe they have hookers servicing the Secret Service while one of their thugs pours gravy – taking a cue from Hamlet - in the Dumbolike ears of B.O.
Since I do these things with a velvet glove, a wry sense of humor, a spot on knowledge of Political Science, History, and Literature – things of which you have zero familiarity, let alone knowledge – and a Flashman-like sangfroid of the dangers of getting on your bad side – Remember, you sicced the coppers on me – I know you look forward to my little notes.
Your comments on apples, oranges, and that reliable old chestnut, coconuts, are beyond the universe of sniggering. You make Professor Irwin Corey sound like Sir John Gielgud reading from the Book of Common Prayer.
Your premise on Venture Capital, the one that says it is evil while simultaneously saying taking campaign contributions from card carrying Venture Capitalists is good, shows that modern American Liberal shills need constant chiropractic care. As soon as flip-flopping becomes an Olympic sport the first team will be assembled from Democratic gun slingers. Gray’s Anatomy will have to be rewritten when X-ray evidence of a lumbar/thoracic convulsion akin to a Slinky going up a down escalator is revealed. The ability to remove your own tonsils from the inside, while it may well be an admirable trait, is not a prerequisite for public punditry.
The latest lightning bolt from Ground Zero on the economy, like taking dating etiquette lessons from Mary Magdalene, says that Venture Capital produces wealth without jobs. The country knows how to produce jobs without wealth. It’s called the United States Post Office. With the exception of George Soros it is a truism that creating wealth also creates jobs. I suggest the example of FedEx as one that did both. Anyone who says the opposite deserves to have his/her face on a piñata.
Wait a minute!
Somebody’s face is on a piñata.
The Republican Governor of South Carolina, a woman of color, had her face attached to a piñata at a Democratic Party picnic. As the state Chairlady hit her SEIU thugs yelled “Raghead”, “Dothead”, and “WOG”. I kept waiting for “Macaca”, the ultimate insult, but I did not hear it. Would those words make it a hate crime?
When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you concluded a la Sherlock Holmes that the reason for this crime was Right-Wing radio in general, Rush Limbaugh in particular, and the aura of hate fueled by the Tea Party. Your silence about the racistl assault on Governor Haley must be judged by the Latin adage “qui tacet consentire”. Silence gives consent.
Logic must dictate that you are content as long as the basher is a Democrat and the bashee is a Republican. It really is easy to be modern American Liberal. As soon as you make plaid your favorite color the rest is easy.
These things I will not do today.
I am declaring a unilateral truce – no conditions, none whatsoever – because obviously no one has told you that your guy, President Barack Hussein Obama, Lord Barack the Beneficent to his close friends, wants children, particularly children of color whose Moms are single parenst, to drown.
When you were a Florida legislator you, in the parlance on modern American Liberals, “led the fight” against toddlers drowning. I think it was the leading cause of death for children in Broward County under the age of 5. Since it is obvious that women and minorities suffer disproportionately from every villain caused epidemic of social ills the number of African-American children who drowned here was staggering.
You sponsored legislation requiring bottom drain covers, lines separating the shallow from the deep, fences, and yet more rescue devices.
It was obvious that your Italianate hand was guiding this administration’s legislative and regulatory attempts to ban both bullying and drowning.
The President, by suspending enforcement of the rules governing pools, just made a calculated political decision that the country could afford a few more minority drownings as long as he got the votes of the people who own pools. A case could be made for the Koch Brothers having gotten to him. That’s the Chicago Way, isn’t it?
I am positive that if you knew this you would blow the top off the Capitol dome.
How could you do otherwise?
T.E. Lawrence once said “Not much can be gotten from a sure victory but there is much to be gained from a sure defeat”.
I am typing this about 12 yards from my pool.
Bring your reporters and their cameras.
Challenge the President to reverse his racially cruel ruling.
Debbie, Debbie in the next edition of “Profiles in Courage” has a nice ring to it.
After all, it’s for the children.
Kevin Smith
PS – I feel sooooo good! I went a whole note without once mentioning Elizabeth Warren AKA Princess Lying Sack of Bison Dung. I have it on unimpeachable authority that Manitou is very pissed off at her. Also, Mammon and Lucre, the Gods of Venture Capital want to know whose fingerprints are on Solyndra as it is officially FUBAR. [FUBAR? Send a SASE]
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Assemblyman John McKeon, Esq.
May 27, 2012
Assemblyman John McKeon, Esq.
250 Main Street
Madison, NJ 07940
RE: Déjà vu, déjà vu, damn that déjà vu
Assemblyman McKeon,
Flash back 20 years ago.
“Knock, knock”
“Who’s there”?
“Me” – In this case “me” is “you”
You were running for something in West Orange and your handlers told you to knock on some doors. You knocked on mine.
As was my wont, and much to my wife’s chagrin, I invited you in. Anyone who knocked on my door, aluminum siding salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, beggars from PIRG, knife sharpening peripatetic Gypsies, - no exceptions – they were all invited in. Even politicians
One part of our conversation has stayed with me for 20 years.
You said that the key to a strong real estate market, both commercial and residential, was a “good” rent control law.
Jeepers, I thought, maybe he hit his head this morning. Maybe he took his wife’s pills. Maybe he thought he was talking to a nit-wit. Worse, maybe he thought he was talking to a fellow nit-wit.
I asked if any subjective criteria, things like equity, CPI, occupancy, taxes, capital improvement, interest rates, would apply.
“Absolutely”, you said.
Please accept the gently chastening admonishment in the Christian spirit in which it is offered.
“HUH”?
A law, any law, being interpreted subjectively?
You may wish to familiarize yourself with The Law of the Constitution by A.V. Dicey. Doubtless, you will be the first in your legislative caucus and probably in your law firm, to become familiar with it. He has some comments on the Rule of Law that still ring true
After you left my wife asked who you were. I paraphrased Samuel Johnson. “The man’s a boob and that’s an end to it.”
Fast forward 20 years.
I open NJ.com every morning to check on the Irish sports pages AKA the obituaries. Recognizing no names I move on to Paul Mulshine.
It would seem that you have gotten dumber over the years.
If your bio info is correct you were 12 years old when the weather crisis du jour
was Global Cooling. A multi-degreed wing nut named Paul Ehrlich predicted, and on national TV to boot, that we would either freeze to death or starve to death by 2000. Your photo says “I am well fed”. It is 88 degrees in Florida.
Que paso?
Perhaps it is time to come to Jesus. Beginning in the late ‘70s I would end my morning ablutions by opening the bath room window and squeezing off a few rounds from my Right Guard deodorant can. It was the least I could do to call attention to the hole in the Ozone layer. It was my way of Acting Locally while Thinking Globally.
I am sure you can remember when it was “settled science” that tomatoes were poisonous, when Ptolemy was top dog in the astronomy world, and when supposedly rational adults thought that rent control worked. I just looked it up. Wisconsin won the 2000 Rose Bowl, the one that supposed to played on ice skates by staving student athletes.
May I suggest that you set an example for your constituents? If ozone depletion, drowning polar bears, carbon foot prints, and the continued misuse of fossil fuels really bother you turn off your air conditioner. All of your air conditioners. Office, home, and cars even if theyt run on manatee eructations.
Talk is cheap. Walk the walk.
It’s probably too late for you.
Dr. Johnson and I were right.
There is no rehab for boobs. Many of you wind up in elected bodies. The only benefit there is that adults can keep an eye on you.
Kevin Smith
Assemblyman John McKeon, Esq.
250 Main Street
Madison, NJ 07940
RE: Déjà vu, déjà vu, damn that déjà vu
Assemblyman McKeon,
Flash back 20 years ago.
“Knock, knock”
“Who’s there”?
“Me” – In this case “me” is “you”
You were running for something in West Orange and your handlers told you to knock on some doors. You knocked on mine.
As was my wont, and much to my wife’s chagrin, I invited you in. Anyone who knocked on my door, aluminum siding salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, beggars from PIRG, knife sharpening peripatetic Gypsies, - no exceptions – they were all invited in. Even politicians
One part of our conversation has stayed with me for 20 years.
You said that the key to a strong real estate market, both commercial and residential, was a “good” rent control law.
Jeepers, I thought, maybe he hit his head this morning. Maybe he took his wife’s pills. Maybe he thought he was talking to a nit-wit. Worse, maybe he thought he was talking to a fellow nit-wit.
I asked if any subjective criteria, things like equity, CPI, occupancy, taxes, capital improvement, interest rates, would apply.
“Absolutely”, you said.
Please accept the gently chastening admonishment in the Christian spirit in which it is offered.
“HUH”?
A law, any law, being interpreted subjectively?
You may wish to familiarize yourself with The Law of the Constitution by A.V. Dicey. Doubtless, you will be the first in your legislative caucus and probably in your law firm, to become familiar with it. He has some comments on the Rule of Law that still ring true
After you left my wife asked who you were. I paraphrased Samuel Johnson. “The man’s a boob and that’s an end to it.”
Fast forward 20 years.
I open NJ.com every morning to check on the Irish sports pages AKA the obituaries. Recognizing no names I move on to Paul Mulshine.
It would seem that you have gotten dumber over the years.
If your bio info is correct you were 12 years old when the weather crisis du jour
was Global Cooling. A multi-degreed wing nut named Paul Ehrlich predicted, and on national TV to boot, that we would either freeze to death or starve to death by 2000. Your photo says “I am well fed”. It is 88 degrees in Florida.
Que paso?
Perhaps it is time to come to Jesus. Beginning in the late ‘70s I would end my morning ablutions by opening the bath room window and squeezing off a few rounds from my Right Guard deodorant can. It was the least I could do to call attention to the hole in the Ozone layer. It was my way of Acting Locally while Thinking Globally.
I am sure you can remember when it was “settled science” that tomatoes were poisonous, when Ptolemy was top dog in the astronomy world, and when supposedly rational adults thought that rent control worked. I just looked it up. Wisconsin won the 2000 Rose Bowl, the one that supposed to played on ice skates by staving student athletes.
May I suggest that you set an example for your constituents? If ozone depletion, drowning polar bears, carbon foot prints, and the continued misuse of fossil fuels really bother you turn off your air conditioner. All of your air conditioners. Office, home, and cars even if theyt run on manatee eructations.
Talk is cheap. Walk the walk.
It’s probably too late for you.
Dr. Johnson and I were right.
There is no rehab for boobs. Many of you wind up in elected bodies. The only benefit there is that adults can keep an eye on you.
Kevin Smith
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Dan Becker Dan Gerstenzang The Miami Herald
May 25, 2012
Dan Becker
Dan Gerstenzang
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-169
RE: In praise of Global Warming – some comments about article in today’s Miami Herald that combines the enticing smell of “Rainbow Stew”, the captivating aura of “Balloon Juice”, and the astonishing ability of Horses’ Asses of the modern American Liberal stable to overlook facts, ignore History, and do great damage to Logic.
Sirs,
See if you can follow this. I’ll type slowly.
A bit more than a millennium ago the earth experienced an upward spike in temperature. That means it got hotter. Here comes the good part. More land became arable. [Have you ever wondered how Greenland got its name?] Protein became more abundant. People got smarter. Voila! The Renaissance! Please don’t tell me that you have a problem with Dante.
Hark back to the halcyon days of the ‘70s. The impending doom du jour was, and I am not kidding, was Global Cooling. An academic ohmadahn of Homeric proportions, Paul Ehrlich, PhD, told that the race was on to see if we would freeze to death or starve to death by the year 2000. [He proclaimed that the main culprit in this was the Roman Catholic Church but that’s a different story.] Empirical evidence would suggest that he was 0 for 2 on both predictions. In the world of pseudo-science populated by fakers who want to change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 to raise the self-esteem of failing Geometry\students that doesn’t ever raise a yawn. What counts for these snake oil salesmen are the intentions of the predictor, not the results or the facts.
Going through your not quite unctuous scratchings I find many of the usual suspects.
#1 – “…carbon dioxide, the main global warming pollutant…” One of the first things learned in high school biology is photosynthesis. The end result of all those plants doing something with chloroform is…is…carbon dioxide. If CO2 is bad would not Logic dictate that the Amazon Rain Forest has to go and I mean right quick. Napalm, Agent Orange, Neutron bombs, whatever is at our disposal. After all, we only have one world, right? Brazil might be upset but omelets don’t grow on tree. We have got to crack a hellacious amount of eggs. Start now.
#2 – “fighting climate change” – Since I am on the cutting edge of climatology I must tell you that I have found a new sorcerer. He is, forgive me, a true Renaissance man. Professor Antonio Vivaldi tells of the phenomenal effects of, are you ready, climate change. I suggest you become familiar with him and his works.
#3 – “COAL” – Here is a local solution for a global problem. Half the electricity produced in this country comes from burning coal. Half the electricity produced in this country is used for air conditioning. The two of you look like bright guys. Can you see where I am going with this? I have been asking the Miami Herald since 1997.to turn off its air conditioning. No foreplay, no transition. Just hit the off switch. Dismantle the units. Sell the copper tubes for scrap; Give the money to the undeserving poor. Gaia will love you. Open the windows. Get hand held and hand operated fans from the local funeral parlors. On really, really hot days the serendipitous bonus will be much needed cardiovascular exercises. Plus, no carbon footprint. A win,win,win all around.
#4 – “Financing” – Your plan seems to involve all the fun parts of Solyndra, fur lined sinks, 50/50s to cure the deficit, bake sales to keep the Mandarin moneylenders content, and multi-level marketing.
A – Doubtless, you have signed the backs of paychecks. You have never signed the front of one.
B – As soon as you said “performance contracts are like magic wands” I dropped my spoon. I dropped it intentionally. Thank God I saw that the laws governing gravity had not been repealed. When I reaffirmed my long held belief that “rocks are hard and water is wet” I was able to continue on with the rest of my day.
#5 – My grandfather, the legendary Jack Smith, went to his grave with one huge unanswered question. Why are there more horses’ asses than horses’ heads? At birth the number is equal. I am trying to channel him a la Hillary Clinton and Eleanor Roosevelt. If I can get to him I’ll tell him to read your article.
Since we are speaking of asses let me go from equine to bi-pod. Here’s a pop quiz. It’s an open book test.
Bend over. Put both hands behind you. Try to find your ass.
Report back when you do.
Kevin Smith
Dan Becker
Dan Gerstenzang
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-169
RE: In praise of Global Warming – some comments about article in today’s Miami Herald that combines the enticing smell of “Rainbow Stew”, the captivating aura of “Balloon Juice”, and the astonishing ability of Horses’ Asses of the modern American Liberal stable to overlook facts, ignore History, and do great damage to Logic.
Sirs,
See if you can follow this. I’ll type slowly.
A bit more than a millennium ago the earth experienced an upward spike in temperature. That means it got hotter. Here comes the good part. More land became arable. [Have you ever wondered how Greenland got its name?] Protein became more abundant. People got smarter. Voila! The Renaissance! Please don’t tell me that you have a problem with Dante.
Hark back to the halcyon days of the ‘70s. The impending doom du jour was, and I am not kidding, was Global Cooling. An academic ohmadahn of Homeric proportions, Paul Ehrlich, PhD, told that the race was on to see if we would freeze to death or starve to death by the year 2000. [He proclaimed that the main culprit in this was the Roman Catholic Church but that’s a different story.] Empirical evidence would suggest that he was 0 for 2 on both predictions. In the world of pseudo-science populated by fakers who want to change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 to raise the self-esteem of failing Geometry\students that doesn’t ever raise a yawn. What counts for these snake oil salesmen are the intentions of the predictor, not the results or the facts.
Going through your not quite unctuous scratchings I find many of the usual suspects.
#1 – “…carbon dioxide, the main global warming pollutant…” One of the first things learned in high school biology is photosynthesis. The end result of all those plants doing something with chloroform is…is…carbon dioxide. If CO2 is bad would not Logic dictate that the Amazon Rain Forest has to go and I mean right quick. Napalm, Agent Orange, Neutron bombs, whatever is at our disposal. After all, we only have one world, right? Brazil might be upset but omelets don’t grow on tree. We have got to crack a hellacious amount of eggs. Start now.
#2 – “fighting climate change” – Since I am on the cutting edge of climatology I must tell you that I have found a new sorcerer. He is, forgive me, a true Renaissance man. Professor Antonio Vivaldi tells of the phenomenal effects of, are you ready, climate change. I suggest you become familiar with him and his works.
#3 – “COAL” – Here is a local solution for a global problem. Half the electricity produced in this country comes from burning coal. Half the electricity produced in this country is used for air conditioning. The two of you look like bright guys. Can you see where I am going with this? I have been asking the Miami Herald since 1997.to turn off its air conditioning. No foreplay, no transition. Just hit the off switch. Dismantle the units. Sell the copper tubes for scrap; Give the money to the undeserving poor. Gaia will love you. Open the windows. Get hand held and hand operated fans from the local funeral parlors. On really, really hot days the serendipitous bonus will be much needed cardiovascular exercises. Plus, no carbon footprint. A win,win,win all around.
#4 – “Financing” – Your plan seems to involve all the fun parts of Solyndra, fur lined sinks, 50/50s to cure the deficit, bake sales to keep the Mandarin moneylenders content, and multi-level marketing.
A – Doubtless, you have signed the backs of paychecks. You have never signed the front of one.
B – As soon as you said “performance contracts are like magic wands” I dropped my spoon. I dropped it intentionally. Thank God I saw that the laws governing gravity had not been repealed. When I reaffirmed my long held belief that “rocks are hard and water is wet” I was able to continue on with the rest of my day.
#5 – My grandfather, the legendary Jack Smith, went to his grave with one huge unanswered question. Why are there more horses’ asses than horses’ heads? At birth the number is equal. I am trying to channel him a la Hillary Clinton and Eleanor Roosevelt. If I can get to him I’ll tell him to read your article.
Since we are speaking of asses let me go from equine to bi-pod. Here’s a pop quiz. It’s an open book test.
Bend over. Put both hands behind you. Try to find your ass.
Report back when you do.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Democratic National Committee
May 26, 2012
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Be civil, damnit, or I’ll smack you.
Dearest Darling Debbie, Debbie,
First, a personal question.
You know how I hate it when bad things happen to good people.
I read where the FDIC has reprimanded the Community Bank of Broward. Bad loans, not enough reserves, shoddy earnings, questionable accounting practices…all things that the 1% do very well. I hope I’m wrong but isn’t that the bank that your husband is an officer and director of? Wasn’t that the bank that you did a midnight transfer for a few years back? I say “midnight” because you hoped everybody was sleeping and wouldn’t notice. At the heart of the matter you used the government as a short cut to personal profit and familial aggrandizement. That bank. That husband.
I am not sure whether you inspired Congresswoman Maxine Waters or you learned from her. It would be fair to say, at least in Congress, that there is honor among thieves.
Like I said, I hate it when bad things happen to good people.
If I am wrong allow me to offer a modern American Liberal apology. I am sorry but only if I offended anyone, particularly women and minorities.
But that’s not why I write.
When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you leapt to the nearest open microphone with such élan that the prototypical modern American Liberal newshound, Senator Chuck U. Schumer, was impressed. Like a hog sniffing a truffle he can find a red camera light and an open mike in the next zip code.
You said that we must tone down our Rhetoric – You should have said Sophistry but since you have no knowledge, none, of Political Science or the place where such things were begun that I will grant you an indulgence because of invincible ignorance – because it was self-evident that she was shot because of hate filled talk radio, rabid Tea
Party partisans, the Koch Brothers, and that old reliable modern American Liberal piñata, Fox News.
It’s possible that with your busy schedule you didn’t know that the United States Attorney, a person who was appointed by President Obama, in Phoenix has decided that it would be impossible to prosecute the shooter.
The main reason is simple: He has snakes for brains.
He is neither able to understand the charges against him nor is he able to assist in his own defense. The Constitution mentions those Rights. [I always thought it passing strange that those Rights did not extend to Arkansas. The case of Ricky Ray Rector is like a turd in the punch bowl. It pops up at the worst time. I am still trying to find out if Hillary Rodham Clinton gave him a lap dance in the electric chair to keep him quiescent as he was being wired up to a dozen 12 volt batteries. Too bad that Ricky didn’t have a RESET button.] His life now consists of being in a room with a door with no inside handle; He appears to have mastered the art of one hand clapping. He spends most days packed in dry ice. For good behavior he gets a Thnorazine enema.
I mention the above because whatever drum the shooter marched to, it was not played by Rush Limbaugh.
Speaking of “civility”, did you see the video tape of South Carolina Democratic Party officials bashing a piñata? What made this different was that a picture of the Governor of South Carolina was on the piñata as a target. Every time the bat was swung the people at the party yelled “Raghead”.
The Governor of South Carolina is Nikki Haley. With the possible exception of Professor Pocohantas Warren, a liar soon to be employed as a greeter at the Mohegan Sun Casino, there is no more Indian woman in America. Professor Munchausen Warren bases her claim on 2 things. She put a recipe for poached soft shell crab with a remoulade sauce served on a bed of arugula, braised chard, and endives served with Corton Charlemagne into a cook book filled with recipes from her great, great, great, grandmother. The other proof is that Grammy’s beau, Long Knife, AKA Death to the Round Eyes, ate Custer’s heart.
Governor Halley looks like someone that Kipling wrote about. She doesn’t look like someone who has lived a lie all her life and has benefited greatly from it. In that regard Princess SummerFallWinterlLiar is the perfect role model for modern American Liberalism. She is like a car skidding on an icy street. The only thing that will stop her is the lamp post or the fire truck coming through the intersection.
Does “raghead” turn a political prank into a hate crime? Should some demented 99 percenter hit her with a bat would the Occupy Wall Street mob be culpable? How much liability would land at the feet of Bill Maher? How about George Soros?
That’s the problem with civility and free speech. It’s a two edged sword.
One of my favorite rabbis, Nat Hentoff, wrote a book entitled “Free Speech for Me but Not for Thee”.
It’s been some time since I’ve written to you. I hope you haven’t forgotten me.
If Curley Biden, a man for the term Wing Nut Moon Bat Loon was invented, gets any crazier are you going to allow him to go out in public?
Please don’t send the cops after me again.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street, SE
Washington, DC 20003
RE: Be civil, damnit, or I’ll smack you.
Dearest Darling Debbie, Debbie,
First, a personal question.
You know how I hate it when bad things happen to good people.
I read where the FDIC has reprimanded the Community Bank of Broward. Bad loans, not enough reserves, shoddy earnings, questionable accounting practices…all things that the 1% do very well. I hope I’m wrong but isn’t that the bank that your husband is an officer and director of? Wasn’t that the bank that you did a midnight transfer for a few years back? I say “midnight” because you hoped everybody was sleeping and wouldn’t notice. At the heart of the matter you used the government as a short cut to personal profit and familial aggrandizement. That bank. That husband.
I am not sure whether you inspired Congresswoman Maxine Waters or you learned from her. It would be fair to say, at least in Congress, that there is honor among thieves.
Like I said, I hate it when bad things happen to good people.
If I am wrong allow me to offer a modern American Liberal apology. I am sorry but only if I offended anyone, particularly women and minorities.
But that’s not why I write.
When Congresswoman Gabriela Giffords was shot you leapt to the nearest open microphone with such élan that the prototypical modern American Liberal newshound, Senator Chuck U. Schumer, was impressed. Like a hog sniffing a truffle he can find a red camera light and an open mike in the next zip code.
You said that we must tone down our Rhetoric – You should have said Sophistry but since you have no knowledge, none, of Political Science or the place where such things were begun that I will grant you an indulgence because of invincible ignorance – because it was self-evident that she was shot because of hate filled talk radio, rabid Tea
Party partisans, the Koch Brothers, and that old reliable modern American Liberal piñata, Fox News.
It’s possible that with your busy schedule you didn’t know that the United States Attorney, a person who was appointed by President Obama, in Phoenix has decided that it would be impossible to prosecute the shooter.
The main reason is simple: He has snakes for brains.
He is neither able to understand the charges against him nor is he able to assist in his own defense. The Constitution mentions those Rights. [I always thought it passing strange that those Rights did not extend to Arkansas. The case of Ricky Ray Rector is like a turd in the punch bowl. It pops up at the worst time. I am still trying to find out if Hillary Rodham Clinton gave him a lap dance in the electric chair to keep him quiescent as he was being wired up to a dozen 12 volt batteries. Too bad that Ricky didn’t have a RESET button.] His life now consists of being in a room with a door with no inside handle; He appears to have mastered the art of one hand clapping. He spends most days packed in dry ice. For good behavior he gets a Thnorazine enema.
I mention the above because whatever drum the shooter marched to, it was not played by Rush Limbaugh.
Speaking of “civility”, did you see the video tape of South Carolina Democratic Party officials bashing a piñata? What made this different was that a picture of the Governor of South Carolina was on the piñata as a target. Every time the bat was swung the people at the party yelled “Raghead”.
The Governor of South Carolina is Nikki Haley. With the possible exception of Professor Pocohantas Warren, a liar soon to be employed as a greeter at the Mohegan Sun Casino, there is no more Indian woman in America. Professor Munchausen Warren bases her claim on 2 things. She put a recipe for poached soft shell crab with a remoulade sauce served on a bed of arugula, braised chard, and endives served with Corton Charlemagne into a cook book filled with recipes from her great, great, great, grandmother. The other proof is that Grammy’s beau, Long Knife, AKA Death to the Round Eyes, ate Custer’s heart.
Governor Halley looks like someone that Kipling wrote about. She doesn’t look like someone who has lived a lie all her life and has benefited greatly from it. In that regard Princess SummerFallWinterlLiar is the perfect role model for modern American Liberalism. She is like a car skidding on an icy street. The only thing that will stop her is the lamp post or the fire truck coming through the intersection.
Does “raghead” turn a political prank into a hate crime? Should some demented 99 percenter hit her with a bat would the Occupy Wall Street mob be culpable? How much liability would land at the feet of Bill Maher? How about George Soros?
That’s the problem with civility and free speech. It’s a two edged sword.
One of my favorite rabbis, Nat Hentoff, wrote a book entitled “Free Speech for Me but Not for Thee”.
It’s been some time since I’ve written to you. I hope you haven’t forgotten me.
If Curley Biden, a man for the term Wing Nut Moon Bat Loon was invented, gets any crazier are you going to allow him to go out in public?
Please don’t send the cops after me again.
Kevin Smith
Friday, May 25, 2012
DUTY HONOR COUNTRY
This month marks the 50th anniversary of the last public speech of General Douglas MacArthur. It was given at the United States Military Academy at West Point from where he was graduated and later served as Superintendent. His audience was the Corps of Cadets. His theme was simple.
We ask men to become part of something greater than themselves. We ask them to volunteer to become a counterweight on the scales that free men must always bring back into balance, into harmony.
One of these men was Corporal Leonard W. Putnam, my wife Amy’s uncle.
On May 25, 1945 “in the Pacific area” as his scroll says, a 42 year old piano salesman from Jersey City, NJ was hit by a Japanese mortar shell. Eye witnesses tell of the upper right quadrant of his body being blown up and away from the rest of him.
In the song “Young Willie McBride” a question is asked at the headstone of a 19 year old Tommy. “Was it quick and clean or was it slow and obscene”?
Corporal Putnam was dead before the rest of him hit the ground.
I’ve been doing these tributes since 1997. He and his wife had no children. It was my attempt to keep his name alive. This is the first time that Corporal Putnam’s niece, my wife Amy, is not here with her handy blue pencil.
She had more than a passing interest in my efforts what with both the Japanese Navy and the German Navy trying to sink the ship her father served on as a surgeon. It is worth noting that the “RESET” button that the Kellogg-Briand Naval Treaty, a treaty that earned its architects Nobel Peace Prizes did not work. It proved to be no impediment to war. A case can be made for it hastening it.
In Macarthur’s speech he says that the American soldier has “drained deep the chalice of courage”.
A bit of homework revealed that Amy’s cousin, Andy Safner, was about 100 miles North of Okinawa on May 25, 1945. He was a radio man on a Destroyer Escort. His job was simple. His ship, slow and not well armored, had one job. It was to be the little yapping dog that wakes up the big dogs. His ship was the first American Naval vessel to encounter incoming Kamikazes. They were offered up as bait. The more the little ships engaged the kimonoed killers the better it was for the bigger ships, especially the carriers. Andy earned the naval equivalent of the Combat Infantryman’s Badge, an honor given only to those who have been engaged in armed combat with the enemy. Several of his shipmates had been killed by Kamikaze attacks. He had “seen the elephant”.
In what has become a story unique to America, in a tribute to “American Exceptionalism”, Andy came back from combat to a bartender’s job at Amy’s grandfather’s saloon. He went to college at night to earn a degree in accounting. Before becoming a partner in a Big 8 accounting firm he married Alice Ozimek and they lived happily ever after.
In the 35 years that I knew him we spoke of many things. 10Ks, Tax Court, kids, debits and credits, inter alia. He never once spoke of his time on the razor’s edge of life, of death. The wheel, having turned in his favor, was never mentioned.
Sipping also from the “chalice of courage” was my uncle John who went everywhere that MacArthur went. The first time he fired at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. A glass is raised to my uncle Frank. He made 3 forced landings. He learned that, yes, you can eat flies.
A glass of whisky, to be precise, a glass of single malt whisky, is raised to Dennis Greenhough. He enlisted at the age of 17 in the Royal Warwickshire Regiment at Manchester, England. He landed on Sword Beach on D-Day. He too was wounded by artillery. When he was mustered out he was a Captain.
My uncle Adam, a Scot of some note, said that “more good has come from an inn than any other invention of mankind”. I met Pink in a saloon in Antigua in 1979. We celebrated the coming of Lady Thatcher and the certain arrival of the great Reagan. He was with Barrie Cooper who had also “taken the King’s shilling” but for a later conflict.
I mentioned MacArthur’s speech to a friend in Massachusetts. He told me that he will be burying his father-in-law in June in the cemetery at West Point. Both were graduated from West Point. Both were Colonels. Both were combat veterans. Both will be together for all time.
From a corporal on Okinawa to two field grade officers in the same grave the sacred chain that MacArthur spoke of, “the long gray line”, is made clear yet again.
“In their youth their hearts were touched by fire”
My job, “to remember them with honour”, is simple.
KS
I add two names: A teammate, Greg Koch, and a fraternity brother, Bill Sauer.
God rest their souls
We ask men to become part of something greater than themselves. We ask them to volunteer to become a counterweight on the scales that free men must always bring back into balance, into harmony.
One of these men was Corporal Leonard W. Putnam, my wife Amy’s uncle.
On May 25, 1945 “in the Pacific area” as his scroll says, a 42 year old piano salesman from Jersey City, NJ was hit by a Japanese mortar shell. Eye witnesses tell of the upper right quadrant of his body being blown up and away from the rest of him.
In the song “Young Willie McBride” a question is asked at the headstone of a 19 year old Tommy. “Was it quick and clean or was it slow and obscene”?
Corporal Putnam was dead before the rest of him hit the ground.
I’ve been doing these tributes since 1997. He and his wife had no children. It was my attempt to keep his name alive. This is the first time that Corporal Putnam’s niece, my wife Amy, is not here with her handy blue pencil.
She had more than a passing interest in my efforts what with both the Japanese Navy and the German Navy trying to sink the ship her father served on as a surgeon. It is worth noting that the “RESET” button that the Kellogg-Briand Naval Treaty, a treaty that earned its architects Nobel Peace Prizes did not work. It proved to be no impediment to war. A case can be made for it hastening it.
In Macarthur’s speech he says that the American soldier has “drained deep the chalice of courage”.
A bit of homework revealed that Amy’s cousin, Andy Safner, was about 100 miles North of Okinawa on May 25, 1945. He was a radio man on a Destroyer Escort. His job was simple. His ship, slow and not well armored, had one job. It was to be the little yapping dog that wakes up the big dogs. His ship was the first American Naval vessel to encounter incoming Kamikazes. They were offered up as bait. The more the little ships engaged the kimonoed killers the better it was for the bigger ships, especially the carriers. Andy earned the naval equivalent of the Combat Infantryman’s Badge, an honor given only to those who have been engaged in armed combat with the enemy. Several of his shipmates had been killed by Kamikaze attacks. He had “seen the elephant”.
In what has become a story unique to America, in a tribute to “American Exceptionalism”, Andy came back from combat to a bartender’s job at Amy’s grandfather’s saloon. He went to college at night to earn a degree in accounting. Before becoming a partner in a Big 8 accounting firm he married Alice Ozimek and they lived happily ever after.
In the 35 years that I knew him we spoke of many things. 10Ks, Tax Court, kids, debits and credits, inter alia. He never once spoke of his time on the razor’s edge of life, of death. The wheel, having turned in his favor, was never mentioned.
Sipping also from the “chalice of courage” was my uncle John who went everywhere that MacArthur went. The first time he fired at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. A glass is raised to my uncle Frank. He made 3 forced landings. He learned that, yes, you can eat flies.
A glass of whisky, to be precise, a glass of single malt whisky, is raised to Dennis Greenhough. He enlisted at the age of 17 in the Royal Warwickshire Regiment at Manchester, England. He landed on Sword Beach on D-Day. He too was wounded by artillery. When he was mustered out he was a Captain.
My uncle Adam, a Scot of some note, said that “more good has come from an inn than any other invention of mankind”. I met Pink in a saloon in Antigua in 1979. We celebrated the coming of Lady Thatcher and the certain arrival of the great Reagan. He was with Barrie Cooper who had also “taken the King’s shilling” but for a later conflict.
I mentioned MacArthur’s speech to a friend in Massachusetts. He told me that he will be burying his father-in-law in June in the cemetery at West Point. Both were graduated from West Point. Both were Colonels. Both were combat veterans. Both will be together for all time.
From a corporal on Okinawa to two field grade officers in the same grave the sacred chain that MacArthur spoke of, “the long gray line”, is made clear yet again.
“In their youth their hearts were touched by fire”
My job, “to remember them with honour”, is simple.
KS
I add two names: A teammate, Greg Koch, and a fraternity brother, Bill Sauer.
God rest their souls
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun Sentinel
May 10, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
Could it be a Damascus moment?
There can be no doubt that same sex marriages must be in the Democratic platform this year. Not to do so would be an intellectual and moral disaster. Further, it would be malfeasance of the highest order to have the convention in North Carolina. Bite the bullet, remembering that the first markdown is always the cheapest. Have Curley Biden – named in honor of the smartest stooge – go back on Sunday TV and say Adios, Tar Heels.
There will be some economic consequences but that’s wyt you have a Shovel Ready Summer of Recovery Stimulus Program.
There will be no disruption. The answer lies in your devotion to pure democracy.
Every delegate gets a laptop. Use some bandwidth and satellites to broadcast it. Have some honorary delegate posts: The Mission district of San Francisco, the Stonewall in Greenwich Village, [Fire Island if it goes into overtime] and Provincetown, MA for its summer breezes. Have RuPaul be the Master of Ceremonies with some catchy tunes from La Cage aux Folles. NAMBLA can have a national TV audience featuring them and the world famous Dancing Boys of Islam.
On the final night have one of those mass weddings that everyone so enjoyed when the Reverend Moon was in his prime. A thousand men wearing gowns and a thousand women wearing white tie and tails. Unlike a Chinese takeaway the option of one from each column will not be available. No mixing and matching. The only option is two from one column. As a run up to the big night you could have “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Bridezilla” fans discussing tax policy, nuclear waste disposal, and what to do with “bitter clingers”.
If you follow my suggestions – I’ll really flesh them out over the weekend – it will be the most successful convention since Caligua married his horse. The election will be called off. Lord Barack the Beneficent will be proclaimed Emperor Barack the Sublime. A Profile in Courage awaits the first to go into the pool.
The American people are ready for this. By the end of the year we’ll all wonder what the fuss was about.
In case you are wondering why I have become so fertile it is because I am with my granddaughters in Texas. Although I have not yet found a BAR in tip-top working condition I am training my Texas ladies in snake handling, axe throwing, speed loading,
The Federalist Papers, identity theft, refuting Darwin, helot stalking, the difference between whiskey and whisky, and why modern American Liberals will soon be an endangered species.
They will probably rank above the Delhi smelt but behind the legendary dervish lousewort.
We live in exciting times.
Kool-Aid is being prepared in record amounts. Not only will these nit-wits drink it they will set up IVs and enemas for the infirm.
In the secular humanist world inhabited by heads up their ass modern American Liberals, all of whom are suffering from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, I am soon to be like Alexander the Great. He cried when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer.
Vaya con dios, piñata..
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
Could it be a Damascus moment?
There can be no doubt that same sex marriages must be in the Democratic platform this year. Not to do so would be an intellectual and moral disaster. Further, it would be malfeasance of the highest order to have the convention in North Carolina. Bite the bullet, remembering that the first markdown is always the cheapest. Have Curley Biden – named in honor of the smartest stooge – go back on Sunday TV and say Adios, Tar Heels.
There will be some economic consequences but that’s wyt you have a Shovel Ready Summer of Recovery Stimulus Program.
There will be no disruption. The answer lies in your devotion to pure democracy.
Every delegate gets a laptop. Use some bandwidth and satellites to broadcast it. Have some honorary delegate posts: The Mission district of San Francisco, the Stonewall in Greenwich Village, [Fire Island if it goes into overtime] and Provincetown, MA for its summer breezes. Have RuPaul be the Master of Ceremonies with some catchy tunes from La Cage aux Folles. NAMBLA can have a national TV audience featuring them and the world famous Dancing Boys of Islam.
On the final night have one of those mass weddings that everyone so enjoyed when the Reverend Moon was in his prime. A thousand men wearing gowns and a thousand women wearing white tie and tails. Unlike a Chinese takeaway the option of one from each column will not be available. No mixing and matching. The only option is two from one column. As a run up to the big night you could have “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Bridezilla” fans discussing tax policy, nuclear waste disposal, and what to do with “bitter clingers”.
If you follow my suggestions – I’ll really flesh them out over the weekend – it will be the most successful convention since Caligua married his horse. The election will be called off. Lord Barack the Beneficent will be proclaimed Emperor Barack the Sublime. A Profile in Courage awaits the first to go into the pool.
The American people are ready for this. By the end of the year we’ll all wonder what the fuss was about.
In case you are wondering why I have become so fertile it is because I am with my granddaughters in Texas. Although I have not yet found a BAR in tip-top working condition I am training my Texas ladies in snake handling, axe throwing, speed loading,
The Federalist Papers, identity theft, refuting Darwin, helot stalking, the difference between whiskey and whisky, and why modern American Liberals will soon be an endangered species.
They will probably rank above the Delhi smelt but behind the legendary dervish lousewort.
We live in exciting times.
Kool-Aid is being prepared in record amounts. Not only will these nit-wits drink it they will set up IVs and enemas for the infirm.
In the secular humanist world inhabited by heads up their ass modern American Liberals, all of whom are suffering from “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, I am soon to be like Alexander the Great. He cried when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer.
Vaya con dios, piñata..
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun Sentinel
May 10, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
When asked if he had changed his mind the great Lord Keynes, an economist more cited than read, said “Of course. I change my mind when the facts change. Don’t you?”
In my little note to you dated 4/28/12 I said “Here’s a good sign for you. I have the same position on same sex marriage as the President.”
He changed his mind not because the facts, those damned inconvenient things, changed but rather because his ohmadanish horse’s ass of a Vice President opened his mouth and stepped on his tongue. I haven’t changed my mind.
The American voting public has the same position as I have. Every time, in every section of the country, when the issue of same sex marriage has appeared on a ballot the American public, in a democratic manner that you previously have praised, have voted same sex marriages down ranging from decisively to overwhelmingly. I think in the wonderland of true democracy, a world that two weeks ago you tumescently yearned for, the people, doubtless lizards all, have spoken.
The Internet, and a special shout out of thanks to its inventor Alpha Gump, can provide us with a test of the public will. Yea or Nay. Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve.
Isn’t that what you said on 4/29/12 was the best of all possible worlds? After all, the people united can never be defeated, right?
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun Sentinel
My dear Professor,
When asked if he had changed his mind the great Lord Keynes, an economist more cited than read, said “Of course. I change my mind when the facts change. Don’t you?”
In my little note to you dated 4/28/12 I said “Here’s a good sign for you. I have the same position on same sex marriage as the President.”
He changed his mind not because the facts, those damned inconvenient things, changed but rather because his ohmadanish horse’s ass of a Vice President opened his mouth and stepped on his tongue. I haven’t changed my mind.
The American voting public has the same position as I have. Every time, in every section of the country, when the issue of same sex marriage has appeared on a ballot the American public, in a democratic manner that you previously have praised, have voted same sex marriages down ranging from decisively to overwhelmingly. I think in the wonderland of true democracy, a world that two weeks ago you tumescently yearned for, the people, doubtless lizards all, have spoken.
The Internet, and a special shout out of thanks to its inventor Alpha Gump, can provide us with a test of the public will. Yea or Nay. Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve.
Isn’t that what you said on 4/29/12 was the best of all possible worlds? After all, the people united can never be defeated, right?
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Hillary Clinton Secretary of State
May 10, 2012
Hillary Clinton
Secretary of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
RE: At last, the RESET button [Mandarin version] is working.
Madame Secretary,
You were opposed to the entry of Wal-Mart into the American banking business when you were in the Senate even though you once were a member of its Board of Directors. That was when your husband was the Governor of Arkansas.
In re the Keystone Pipeline, the President has said that he will wait until the State Department finishes its assessment of the foreign policy effects, the nexus of business and diplomacy being obvious.
I read this morning of the Federal Reserve “clearing a takeover of a US bank by a Chinese state-controlled company”.
Was the State Department made aware of this?
If not, why not?
If you were, were your comments made public?
If not, why not?
Since I can find no record of your department commenting on it I must assume that the adage “silence gives consent” applies.
Would you be so kind as to tell me why you, when you were a Senator, were opposed to Wal-Mart, as American a company as can be imagined, while you stand mute when the Chinese government enters our banking business?
Will the rules governing American owned banks apply equally to Chinese government owned banks? Specifically, will they be subject to the FDIC and state banking regs? Will they be subject to Congressional oversight? In the event of a law suit will the Chinese government, not the Chinese and/or American managers, respond in a United States Court or will they claim diplomatic immunity?
Perhaps we should think about a swap of Treasury obligations held by the Chinese government for some American entities. Why not Camp Gitmo? They are very experienced in locking people up. Besides, who can beat the weather? If not Gitmo how about Vieques? Detroit and the Everglades leap to mind. Ceding Santa Catalina and Martha’s Vineyard to the Uighurs for some cancelled T-Bills would show that we stand with the 99%.
As to your hair, I think you are old enough and scarred enough for you to wear it any way you want. Since I am follicley challenged I prefer floppy mullets. Who says the wet look is dead?
In anticipation of the courtesy of a prompt and complete reply I remain
Sincerely,
Kevin Smith
Hillary Clinton
Secretary of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
RE: At last, the RESET button [Mandarin version] is working.
Madame Secretary,
You were opposed to the entry of Wal-Mart into the American banking business when you were in the Senate even though you once were a member of its Board of Directors. That was when your husband was the Governor of Arkansas.
In re the Keystone Pipeline, the President has said that he will wait until the State Department finishes its assessment of the foreign policy effects, the nexus of business and diplomacy being obvious.
I read this morning of the Federal Reserve “clearing a takeover of a US bank by a Chinese state-controlled company”.
Was the State Department made aware of this?
If not, why not?
If you were, were your comments made public?
If not, why not?
Since I can find no record of your department commenting on it I must assume that the adage “silence gives consent” applies.
Would you be so kind as to tell me why you, when you were a Senator, were opposed to Wal-Mart, as American a company as can be imagined, while you stand mute when the Chinese government enters our banking business?
Will the rules governing American owned banks apply equally to Chinese government owned banks? Specifically, will they be subject to the FDIC and state banking regs? Will they be subject to Congressional oversight? In the event of a law suit will the Chinese government, not the Chinese and/or American managers, respond in a United States Court or will they claim diplomatic immunity?
Perhaps we should think about a swap of Treasury obligations held by the Chinese government for some American entities. Why not Camp Gitmo? They are very experienced in locking people up. Besides, who can beat the weather? If not Gitmo how about Vieques? Detroit and the Everglades leap to mind. Ceding Santa Catalina and Martha’s Vineyard to the Uighurs for some cancelled T-Bills would show that we stand with the 99%.
As to your hair, I think you are old enough and scarred enough for you to wear it any way you want. Since I am follicley challenged I prefer floppy mullets. Who says the wet look is dead?
In anticipation of the courtesy of a prompt and complete reply I remain
Sincerely,
Kevin Smith
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
On the burial of Colonel Roy Bowlin, Jr. Class of 1944, with his father Colonel Roy Bowlin, Sr. Class of 1917, at the United States Military Academy as told to me by his son-in-law, Tom Fiedler after I sent him a copy of Douglas MacArthur’s 1962 farewell speech at West Point
May 8, 2012
RE: On the burial of Colonel Roy Bowlin, Jr. Class of 1944, with his father Colonel Roy Bowlin, Sr. Class of 1917, at the United States Military Academy as told to me by his son-in-law, Tom Fiedler after I sent him a copy of Douglas MacArthur’s 1962 farewell speech at West Point
Dear Tom,
3 generations of Smiths - Grandfather, son, and grandson – would travel each year to West Point to watch Army play football.
A spell binding surprise was Macarthur’s speech – the speech – being broadcast continuously in front of the library.
The voice, the words, the diction, the pauses, the bridges, the rising tempo – I have not heard its like since.
“When Pericles spoke people said how well he speaks.
When Demosthenes spoke people said ‘Let us march’.”
1961, 1962, 1964. Years with great speeches.
The first and the last were calls to action.
MacArthur’s was a celebration of and a reminder to the young men present of the permanent things. The first thing was that they were part of something greater than themselves. Their chosen profession – no one gets drafted to West Point – may require them to take the soldier’s chance. From Homer to Kipling we stand in awe of the choices they take.
I saw “Top Gun” when it came out in the ‘80s. I got a copy of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” for comparison’s sake. Better story, better action, much better looking lady – game, set, and match to the 1950s.
“Why us, Sergeant? Why us?” asks the young recruit of the company Colour Sergeant at Rorke’s Drift in the movie “Zulu”. “Because we’re here, boy. Because we’re here.”
At the end of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” the Admiral asks “Where do we find such men”?
The Army promised my Uncle John that he would be home for Christmas, 1941. He got back to Jersey City in 1946. Everywhere MacArthur went he went with him. The first time he fired back at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. He was wounded at Leyte Gulf. He had a ticket on the Tokyo Express with an ETA in November, 1945. He was buried with his mates, the men with whom he had served, in 2001.
Your wife’s father will lie like a hero surrounded by other heroes. I risk one toe over the line of maudlin but a case could be made for his father saying, “I’ve been waiting for you”. Achilles, Caesar, Martell, Cervantes, Nelson, Sherman, Patton, and now the two Colonel Bowlins join the long line of warriors whose job was not the making of wars but the fighting of them.
It’s time to start putting together my May 25th note to Corporal Leonard Putnam. He was a 42 year old piano salesman whose name was added to the butcher’s bill “in the Pacific region”. He died on Okinawa about 10 weeks short of Hiroshima. He is buried in the Punch Bowl in Hawaii surrounded by fellow heroes. He and Aunt Millie had no children. Amy, his niece, won’t be here this year. Nobody else knows about him. My job is simple.
“Where do we find such men”?
Praise God we never have to need them and not have them.
KS
RE: On the burial of Colonel Roy Bowlin, Jr. Class of 1944, with his father Colonel Roy Bowlin, Sr. Class of 1917, at the United States Military Academy as told to me by his son-in-law, Tom Fiedler after I sent him a copy of Douglas MacArthur’s 1962 farewell speech at West Point
Dear Tom,
3 generations of Smiths - Grandfather, son, and grandson – would travel each year to West Point to watch Army play football.
A spell binding surprise was Macarthur’s speech – the speech – being broadcast continuously in front of the library.
The voice, the words, the diction, the pauses, the bridges, the rising tempo – I have not heard its like since.
“When Pericles spoke people said how well he speaks.
When Demosthenes spoke people said ‘Let us march’.”
1961, 1962, 1964. Years with great speeches.
The first and the last were calls to action.
MacArthur’s was a celebration of and a reminder to the young men present of the permanent things. The first thing was that they were part of something greater than themselves. Their chosen profession – no one gets drafted to West Point – may require them to take the soldier’s chance. From Homer to Kipling we stand in awe of the choices they take.
I saw “Top Gun” when it came out in the ‘80s. I got a copy of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” for comparison’s sake. Better story, better action, much better looking lady – game, set, and match to the 1950s.
“Why us, Sergeant? Why us?” asks the young recruit of the company Colour Sergeant at Rorke’s Drift in the movie “Zulu”. “Because we’re here, boy. Because we’re here.”
At the end of “The Bridges of Toko-Ri” the Admiral asks “Where do we find such men”?
The Army promised my Uncle John that he would be home for Christmas, 1941. He got back to Jersey City in 1946. Everywhere MacArthur went he went with him. The first time he fired back at the Japanese his rifle was 39 years old. He was wounded at Leyte Gulf. He had a ticket on the Tokyo Express with an ETA in November, 1945. He was buried with his mates, the men with whom he had served, in 2001.
Your wife’s father will lie like a hero surrounded by other heroes. I risk one toe over the line of maudlin but a case could be made for his father saying, “I’ve been waiting for you”. Achilles, Caesar, Martell, Cervantes, Nelson, Sherman, Patton, and now the two Colonel Bowlins join the long line of warriors whose job was not the making of wars but the fighting of them.
It’s time to start putting together my May 25th note to Corporal Leonard Putnam. He was a 42 year old piano salesman whose name was added to the butcher’s bill “in the Pacific region”. He died on Okinawa about 10 weeks short of Hiroshima. He is buried in the Punch Bowl in Hawaii surrounded by fellow heroes. He and Aunt Millie had no children. Amy, his niece, won’t be here this year. Nobody else knows about him. My job is simple.
“Where do we find such men”?
Praise God we never have to need them and not have them.
KS
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein The Always Sunny-Sentinel
April 29, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Always Sunny-Sentinel
RE: “When You Wish Upon a Star” to be the new anthem when Il Duce Goldstein takes over. Some comments on your column about the coming of the land of milk and honey in today’s Sun-Sentinel.
My dear Professor,
It’s not like needing a few lines of Peruvian Marching Powder. Lips that touch Oxy will never touch mine. It’s like having advanced marzipan cravings or severe whipped cream needs. If you score, fine. If you don’t, that’s OK too.
“It” is the combination of your reasoning coupled with the eclectic memory so common to a true believing modern American Liberal who refuses to let facts and History stand in the way of positing your perpetually false premise.
You say, in your quest to “make a system so perfect that no one will have to be good”, that the Internet will lead us to the paradise, alas man made, of true democracy.
I know that “Happy Days are Here Again” lends itself to an oom-pah brass band. Will “Kumbaya” and “I Dreamt I Saw Joe Hill” be retrofitted for a string quartet? You can never have enough cello. How about naming the next United States Navy combat vessel the USS Rosenbergs? Surely it’s time for a stamp to honor Alger Hiss. It is, isn’t it? How about naming the next Post Office after Willie Horton?
Your call for a “true” democracy, one where there will be no lack of lambs volunteering to go beddy-bye with Uncle Leo, has been sung by Sirens for centuries. That’s why the lions always know the words.
Since Lent is over I can go back to argumentum ad hominem.
Buckle up, you boob. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Benjamin Franklin, the quintessential dead White guy, was asked what the other soon to be dead White guys had given the country at Philadelphia in 1787. [Hint: Google the Constitutional Convention] “A Republic, if you can keep it.”
We race backwards through History trying, always unsuccessfully, to find a dissenting opinion.
Madison, Burke, Locke, 1688, Aquinas, 1215, Marcus Aurelius and the 5 Emperors, Cicero, men in the agora, and the answer is always the same.
“Either man controls his passions or passions will control the man.”
Democracy, unfettered and participatory, leads to lynchings and tyranny. Sometimes it leads to tyranny and lynchings. Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone it’s going to be bad for the pitcher. Always has; always will.
If, as you say, vox populi is the coming wave why do we need that jerry rigged, Rube Goldberg designed panjandrum in Washington, D.C.? Why not just issue I-Pads cum Blackberries to everybody, and I mean everybody. No photo ID? No problem. When a pressing public question arises, one like sending Seal Team 6 to take out the Koch Brothers or ending the bullying of cross gendered teens by transgendered teens aided by ungendered and degendered teens, open the polls at Noon and give everybody an hour to vote. Thumbs up or Thumbs down. No write ins. 2 hours after the people decide the will of the people is carried out.
The Senate would be an unused appendage. The Supreme Court, indeed all courts, would be superfluous, what with the will of the people being both unquestioned and unquestionable. Do you think OJ would have gotten off after fileting his wife? Do you think that if a Republican President had not appointed a Republican Governor to the Supreme Court would Wichita have changed its evil ways? Do you think we would have had busing and affirmative action? Do you think we would have had a non-White President?
You say, somewhat vaguely, that we will go through the seasons “until we get it right”. How will we know that we have hit that political and cultural G-spot? Who will tell us? You? Once we get it “right” does that mean it can never get better?
Marzipan, whipped cream, and now cotton and topped by Mom’s meringue as a chaser.
“The enemy has landed; the issue is still in doubt.” Before the boobies completely take over the hatch be sure to order more lambs. A lot more lambs.
Kevin Smith
PS – Let’s hear it from the Amen corner! Our debt to Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. AKA Alpha Gump grows like Topsy. If he hadn’t invented the Internet we would still be trying to adopt the widely successful Cuban Democratic model to the rest of the universe.
Steven L. Goldstein
The Always Sunny-Sentinel
RE: “When You Wish Upon a Star” to be the new anthem when Il Duce Goldstein takes over. Some comments on your column about the coming of the land of milk and honey in today’s Sun-Sentinel.
My dear Professor,
It’s not like needing a few lines of Peruvian Marching Powder. Lips that touch Oxy will never touch mine. It’s like having advanced marzipan cravings or severe whipped cream needs. If you score, fine. If you don’t, that’s OK too.
“It” is the combination of your reasoning coupled with the eclectic memory so common to a true believing modern American Liberal who refuses to let facts and History stand in the way of positing your perpetually false premise.
You say, in your quest to “make a system so perfect that no one will have to be good”, that the Internet will lead us to the paradise, alas man made, of true democracy.
I know that “Happy Days are Here Again” lends itself to an oom-pah brass band. Will “Kumbaya” and “I Dreamt I Saw Joe Hill” be retrofitted for a string quartet? You can never have enough cello. How about naming the next United States Navy combat vessel the USS Rosenbergs? Surely it’s time for a stamp to honor Alger Hiss. It is, isn’t it? How about naming the next Post Office after Willie Horton?
Your call for a “true” democracy, one where there will be no lack of lambs volunteering to go beddy-bye with Uncle Leo, has been sung by Sirens for centuries. That’s why the lions always know the words.
Since Lent is over I can go back to argumentum ad hominem.
Buckle up, you boob. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Benjamin Franklin, the quintessential dead White guy, was asked what the other soon to be dead White guys had given the country at Philadelphia in 1787. [Hint: Google the Constitutional Convention] “A Republic, if you can keep it.”
We race backwards through History trying, always unsuccessfully, to find a dissenting opinion.
Madison, Burke, Locke, 1688, Aquinas, 1215, Marcus Aurelius and the 5 Emperors, Cicero, men in the agora, and the answer is always the same.
“Either man controls his passions or passions will control the man.”
Democracy, unfettered and participatory, leads to lynchings and tyranny. Sometimes it leads to tyranny and lynchings. Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone it’s going to be bad for the pitcher. Always has; always will.
If, as you say, vox populi is the coming wave why do we need that jerry rigged, Rube Goldberg designed panjandrum in Washington, D.C.? Why not just issue I-Pads cum Blackberries to everybody, and I mean everybody. No photo ID? No problem. When a pressing public question arises, one like sending Seal Team 6 to take out the Koch Brothers or ending the bullying of cross gendered teens by transgendered teens aided by ungendered and degendered teens, open the polls at Noon and give everybody an hour to vote. Thumbs up or Thumbs down. No write ins. 2 hours after the people decide the will of the people is carried out.
The Senate would be an unused appendage. The Supreme Court, indeed all courts, would be superfluous, what with the will of the people being both unquestioned and unquestionable. Do you think OJ would have gotten off after fileting his wife? Do you think that if a Republican President had not appointed a Republican Governor to the Supreme Court would Wichita have changed its evil ways? Do you think we would have had busing and affirmative action? Do you think we would have had a non-White President?
You say, somewhat vaguely, that we will go through the seasons “until we get it right”. How will we know that we have hit that political and cultural G-spot? Who will tell us? You? Once we get it “right” does that mean it can never get better?
Marzipan, whipped cream, and now cotton and topped by Mom’s meringue as a chaser.
“The enemy has landed; the issue is still in doubt.” Before the boobies completely take over the hatch be sure to order more lambs. A lot more lambs.
Kevin Smith
PS – Let’s hear it from the Amen corner! Our debt to Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. AKA Alpha Gump grows like Topsy. If he hadn’t invented the Internet we would still be trying to adopt the widely successful Cuban Democratic model to the rest of the universe.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel
April 27, 2012
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
RE: How low can we go? Some comments on your typically incisive screed on how the absence of Republicans would surely be the beginning of the best of times, particularly for single moms who are women of color.
My dear Professor,
Of course you are right.
Thank God for concupiscence! At least it gives us an out for sins of the flesh.
As for the other sins, things like racism, teenage obesity, homophobia, psoriasis, teen age bullying, GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange, xenophobia, the coming takeover of the world by Wal-Mart, agoraphobia leading to severe xenophobia, fried foods, country music, drowning polar bears, Saturday Night Specials, a continued reliance on the 10 Commandments, Birthers & Truthers, the continuing belief in the profit motive, the insistence in keeping score at Little League games, the refusal to change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 so that more people can pass Geometry, the continued burning of coal, the insistence of keeping Kipling and Eliot in public libraries, the absence of a Garrison Keillor and Bill Moyers stamp, the refusal of the Roman Catholic Church to roll over and surrender 2,000 years of revealed truth to the du jour easy out [Would it cost me out of the good graces of accepted society if I were to point out that some of us still believe what Jesus said about “the gates of Hell not prevailing against” His Church? I guess it’s a risk I will have to take] – no wonder the 1% need tax breaks gotten by placing the burden of the perpetually lashed backs of the undeserving poor. We hate too much to have time for anything else. That’s why we will miss the 3rd Summer of Recovery. Those “shovel ready” jobs are really coming in handy, aren’t they?
A few small things, no bigger than a man’s fist on the horizon, before I go.
#1 – You claim the killing of Osama bin Laden, along with the unannounced attendant collateral damage, to be a “spectacular success”.
Does that mean you have changed your views on capital punishment? Is it OK to whack some turbaned thug who is overseas? Does due process stop with our outgoing tide? Does that mean that the Nuremberg Trials were a waste of time? Should we have taken Patton’s advice in 1945 about shooting every burgermeister within 60 minutes driving time of any death camp? He also wanted to execute every field grade officer in the Wehrmacht.
How about if some gun totin’ feral urban youth – if you think that’s a euphemism you’re right – guns down a shop keeper? How about if he kills a police officer while trying to escape? Should we send Seal Team 6 after him or just wire his ass up to Old Sparky? How about digging up the Rosenbergs every year and fry them again just to make sure that they stay dead? How about public executions? Does this mean that you are in favor of the Bush policy of putting the bad guys in Gitmo rather than trying them in Manhattan? I probably don’t have to tell you that your guy in the Whiter House is in favor of it. If he didn’t agree with it he would have shut it down, right? After all, he’s had more than 3 years.
Here’s a good sign for you. I have the same position on same sex marriage as the official policy as the President.
#2 – Why not send George Zimmerman to the same place in Chicago where the unnamed 6 year old Black girl was shot and killed? Tie him down and have a contest open only to the Brothers to see who can cap him first. The winner gets a high school diploma and good gloves for his “Summer of Recovery Shovel Ready Job”.
#3 – Here’s an intriguing thought. How about having the grandson of an “average White woman” send his half-brother, the one who lives in a rent stabilized Section 8 mud hut in a changing neighborhood of Nairobi, a few bucks every week to get him indoor plumbing? Obama charges $35,000 a plate to have dinner with him. Send Olatungi Obama the scraps and he’ll be the next Mayor.
#4 – He and his wife are living testimony to the good life as proclaimed by the High Church of modern American Liberalism. Between them they have 4 degrees from Ivy League schools. The blue collar working stiffs of America lent them the money to do it. Despite having impressive educations they did nothing for the next 20 years. Then, with no more worlds to conquer, he was anointed President. He is still waiting for “the oceans to recede and the earth to cool” but Christ couldn’t get it done in 3 years either.
Is it possible that he a HORSE’S ASS of such monumental proportions that he couldn’t find his motley – motley, as in multi-colored, like Joseph’s coat – ass using both his hands and having a GPS Gorilla Glued to the phone booth where he is doing his damndest to find it? Let the record show that the rest of the horse is Appaloosa. No Black charger or White stallion here. There can be no doubt that his problem finding it has been exacerbated by Curley Biden’s shouting about his big stick.
#5 – As a proud founding member of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” I am pleased to tell you that your basic premise is correct. I know every time I introduce Logic to our conversation I am confusing the Hell out of you. Hell, it’s never too late to learn. You may qualify for a student loan. It worked for those two aforementioned layabouts. Just think of the possibility of “Hail to the Chief” when you come down from the mountain with today’s rules.
#6 – Since “God is not for man to scan; the proper study of mankind is man” your use of the feminine gender designation is acceptable. It is a step up from using “it”. I ask a small favor. If you could find it in your heart could you capitalize the first letter? H, S, or I. It would show that you are reaching out to some border line “bitter clingers”. Your vision of a post-pre-post racial society founded on the principles of a “Rainbow Stew/Balloon Juice” society may yet win some converts.
Paraphrasing the great Dr. Johnson, “The man is a dolt and that’s an end to it”.
Does that make me a racist?
Kevin Smith
Steven L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
RE: How low can we go? Some comments on your typically incisive screed on how the absence of Republicans would surely be the beginning of the best of times, particularly for single moms who are women of color.
My dear Professor,
Of course you are right.
Thank God for concupiscence! At least it gives us an out for sins of the flesh.
As for the other sins, things like racism, teenage obesity, homophobia, psoriasis, teen age bullying, GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange, xenophobia, the coming takeover of the world by Wal-Mart, agoraphobia leading to severe xenophobia, fried foods, country music, drowning polar bears, Saturday Night Specials, a continued reliance on the 10 Commandments, Birthers & Truthers, the continuing belief in the profit motive, the insistence in keeping score at Little League games, the refusal to change pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 so that more people can pass Geometry, the continued burning of coal, the insistence of keeping Kipling and Eliot in public libraries, the absence of a Garrison Keillor and Bill Moyers stamp, the refusal of the Roman Catholic Church to roll over and surrender 2,000 years of revealed truth to the du jour easy out [Would it cost me out of the good graces of accepted society if I were to point out that some of us still believe what Jesus said about “the gates of Hell not prevailing against” His Church? I guess it’s a risk I will have to take] – no wonder the 1% need tax breaks gotten by placing the burden of the perpetually lashed backs of the undeserving poor. We hate too much to have time for anything else. That’s why we will miss the 3rd Summer of Recovery. Those “shovel ready” jobs are really coming in handy, aren’t they?
A few small things, no bigger than a man’s fist on the horizon, before I go.
#1 – You claim the killing of Osama bin Laden, along with the unannounced attendant collateral damage, to be a “spectacular success”.
Does that mean you have changed your views on capital punishment? Is it OK to whack some turbaned thug who is overseas? Does due process stop with our outgoing tide? Does that mean that the Nuremberg Trials were a waste of time? Should we have taken Patton’s advice in 1945 about shooting every burgermeister within 60 minutes driving time of any death camp? He also wanted to execute every field grade officer in the Wehrmacht.
How about if some gun totin’ feral urban youth – if you think that’s a euphemism you’re right – guns down a shop keeper? How about if he kills a police officer while trying to escape? Should we send Seal Team 6 after him or just wire his ass up to Old Sparky? How about digging up the Rosenbergs every year and fry them again just to make sure that they stay dead? How about public executions? Does this mean that you are in favor of the Bush policy of putting the bad guys in Gitmo rather than trying them in Manhattan? I probably don’t have to tell you that your guy in the Whiter House is in favor of it. If he didn’t agree with it he would have shut it down, right? After all, he’s had more than 3 years.
Here’s a good sign for you. I have the same position on same sex marriage as the official policy as the President.
#2 – Why not send George Zimmerman to the same place in Chicago where the unnamed 6 year old Black girl was shot and killed? Tie him down and have a contest open only to the Brothers to see who can cap him first. The winner gets a high school diploma and good gloves for his “Summer of Recovery Shovel Ready Job”.
#3 – Here’s an intriguing thought. How about having the grandson of an “average White woman” send his half-brother, the one who lives in a rent stabilized Section 8 mud hut in a changing neighborhood of Nairobi, a few bucks every week to get him indoor plumbing? Obama charges $35,000 a plate to have dinner with him. Send Olatungi Obama the scraps and he’ll be the next Mayor.
#4 – He and his wife are living testimony to the good life as proclaimed by the High Church of modern American Liberalism. Between them they have 4 degrees from Ivy League schools. The blue collar working stiffs of America lent them the money to do it. Despite having impressive educations they did nothing for the next 20 years. Then, with no more worlds to conquer, he was anointed President. He is still waiting for “the oceans to recede and the earth to cool” but Christ couldn’t get it done in 3 years either.
Is it possible that he a HORSE’S ASS of such monumental proportions that he couldn’t find his motley – motley, as in multi-colored, like Joseph’s coat – ass using both his hands and having a GPS Gorilla Glued to the phone booth where he is doing his damndest to find it? Let the record show that the rest of the horse is Appaloosa. No Black charger or White stallion here. There can be no doubt that his problem finding it has been exacerbated by Curley Biden’s shouting about his big stick.
#5 – As a proud founding member of the “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” I am pleased to tell you that your basic premise is correct. I know every time I introduce Logic to our conversation I am confusing the Hell out of you. Hell, it’s never too late to learn. You may qualify for a student loan. It worked for those two aforementioned layabouts. Just think of the possibility of “Hail to the Chief” when you come down from the mountain with today’s rules.
#6 – Since “God is not for man to scan; the proper study of mankind is man” your use of the feminine gender designation is acceptable. It is a step up from using “it”. I ask a small favor. If you could find it in your heart could you capitalize the first letter? H, S, or I. It would show that you are reaching out to some border line “bitter clingers”. Your vision of a post-pre-post racial society founded on the principles of a “Rainbow Stew/Balloon Juice” society may yet win some converts.
Paraphrasing the great Dr. Johnson, “The man is a dolt and that’s an end to it”.
Does that make me a racist?
Kevin Smith
Letter to the Editor The Sun-Sentinel
April 26, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun-Sentinel
RE: Why is my daughter being underpaid? Some comments on the horror, horror of having a uterus when it’s pay day as depicted on your editorial page cartoon on April 24, 2012/
Sirs,
Let’s begin with the obvious.
Are female reporters paid 23% less than male reporters? [The Tribune Company, your corporate parent, is in bankruptcy. Has anyone told the bankruptcy Trustee about this?]
Yesterday, my mail was delivered by a female. Is she paid 23% less than her male – mail? – counterpart? [If she is I suggest that a quick way to get the USPS deficit under control would be to fire all male mail persons]
Are female teachers paid 23% less than male teachers in Broward County? No wonder they carp about the FCATs.
Are the female members of the Broward County Commission and the distaff members of the Broward County Board of Education paid 23% less than the male members? [For clarity’s sake, male members mean the whole person, not the appendage?
I had a malignant tumour removed from my skull by a female surgeon 7 years ago. How does her pay compare to male surgeons?
I have appeared before 4 female Judges as a litigant. One was New Jersey Superior Court Judge. One was United States Bankruptcy Court Judge. One was a United States Tax Court Judge. One was a Justice on the United States Supreme Court. Were they paid 23% less than their prostate-laden counterparts?
Although they had the same title – Secretary of State – was Hillary Clinton paid 23% less than Colin Powell?
The disparity in Male/Female paydays in professional sports is self-evident. For years I have advocated a winner take all match between the male/female winners at Wimbledon. So far my plan has gained no traction. I doubt if my idea that the Baylor Women’s basketball team play the Kentucky men’s basketball team for a true national championship will ever take place..
My daughter has 3 children and she has two degrees.
She is in a profession that permits, indeed in some instances encourages, part time employment. Is she paid 23% less than her male co-workers when she is the operating room? Since she does not work a full time schedule would you or the cartoonist say that she is paid less than males in the same profession?
Like all modern American Liberals mantras than morph into shibboleths it is a solution in search of a problem. Should you be aware of any sexually based wage discrimination I know quite a few underemployed lawyers, of both sexes, who will file a suit in the appropriate venue within 72 hours of taking the case.
How about a cartoon about drowning polar bears?
Here’s a thought.
Turn off your A/C until Thanksgiving. Talk about saving green because you go green! In addition to saving the polar bears that make a nice living killing and eating baby seals you have the serendipitous satisfaction of the rapacious power company burning less coal. Since coal is the fuel that produces 50% of the electricity in this country you can decrease the consumption of this foul fossil fuel. Maybe you could get some of the deeply discounted Solyndra solar panels for your roof to run the elevators and PCs.
Try to get an all-female installation team to install them. Think of the money you’ll save. Maybe you can still get some of that “shovel ready” swag.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Letter to the Editor
The Sun-Sentinel
RE: Why is my daughter being underpaid? Some comments on the horror, horror of having a uterus when it’s pay day as depicted on your editorial page cartoon on April 24, 2012/
Sirs,
Let’s begin with the obvious.
Are female reporters paid 23% less than male reporters? [The Tribune Company, your corporate parent, is in bankruptcy. Has anyone told the bankruptcy Trustee about this?]
Yesterday, my mail was delivered by a female. Is she paid 23% less than her male – mail? – counterpart? [If she is I suggest that a quick way to get the USPS deficit under control would be to fire all male mail persons]
Are female teachers paid 23% less than male teachers in Broward County? No wonder they carp about the FCATs.
Are the female members of the Broward County Commission and the distaff members of the Broward County Board of Education paid 23% less than the male members? [For clarity’s sake, male members mean the whole person, not the appendage?
I had a malignant tumour removed from my skull by a female surgeon 7 years ago. How does her pay compare to male surgeons?
I have appeared before 4 female Judges as a litigant. One was New Jersey Superior Court Judge. One was United States Bankruptcy Court Judge. One was a United States Tax Court Judge. One was a Justice on the United States Supreme Court. Were they paid 23% less than their prostate-laden counterparts?
Although they had the same title – Secretary of State – was Hillary Clinton paid 23% less than Colin Powell?
The disparity in Male/Female paydays in professional sports is self-evident. For years I have advocated a winner take all match between the male/female winners at Wimbledon. So far my plan has gained no traction. I doubt if my idea that the Baylor Women’s basketball team play the Kentucky men’s basketball team for a true national championship will ever take place..
My daughter has 3 children and she has two degrees.
She is in a profession that permits, indeed in some instances encourages, part time employment. Is she paid 23% less than her male co-workers when she is the operating room? Since she does not work a full time schedule would you or the cartoonist say that she is paid less than males in the same profession?
Like all modern American Liberals mantras than morph into shibboleths it is a solution in search of a problem. Should you be aware of any sexually based wage discrimination I know quite a few underemployed lawyers, of both sexes, who will file a suit in the appropriate venue within 72 hours of taking the case.
How about a cartoon about drowning polar bears?
Here’s a thought.
Turn off your A/C until Thanksgiving. Talk about saving green because you go green! In addition to saving the polar bears that make a nice living killing and eating baby seals you have the serendipitous satisfaction of the rapacious power company burning less coal. Since coal is the fuel that produces 50% of the electricity in this country you can decrease the consumption of this foul fossil fuel. Maybe you could get some of the deeply discounted Solyndra solar panels for your roof to run the elevators and PCs.
Try to get an all-female installation team to install them. Think of the money you’ll save. Maybe you can still get some of that “shovel ready” swag.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
April 18, 2012
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Boulevard – B Building
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025
RE: “Kids Say the Darndest Things” – So do members of Congress
Madame Congresswoman,
Your Congressional website quotes you thus:
“I have buried so many young black boys – It is extremely traumatizing to me.
Black boys and men are valuable to society.
They should not be shot dead for no reason.”
Even though your CV alleges that you were a teacher I shant comment on either the grammar or the composition of the above. You have a long ride between Miami and Washington. Perhaps some time with Strunck & White or Jacques Barzun might help. It would seem that a retroactive “F” might be in order.
It has been 19 years since my last gun fight. One police officer was dead before he hit the ground. Another was shot in his sternum. I helped him live. He later danced at my daughter’s wedding. I know what guns can do.
My question is simple.
When you attend these “traumatizing” funerals is there a different protocol for a “young black boy” being shot by a “young black boy” then there is for a “young black boy” being shot by a “young white boy”? Does “Amazing Grace” have different choruses depending on the race of the alleged perpetrator? Perhaps you could tell me the percentage of “young black boys” being shot by other “young black boys” versus being shot by “young white boys”?
If we are going to have “conversations” about race would it be intemperate of me to ask when the subject of the disintegration of the Black family will begin? Is there any chance that the heavy hand of the government, any government, will be included?
By the way, I really do like your hats.
Kevin Smith
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson
10100 Pines Boulevard – B Building
Pembroke Pines, FL 33025
RE: “Kids Say the Darndest Things” – So do members of Congress
Madame Congresswoman,
Your Congressional website quotes you thus:
“I have buried so many young black boys – It is extremely traumatizing to me.
Black boys and men are valuable to society.
They should not be shot dead for no reason.”
Even though your CV alleges that you were a teacher I shant comment on either the grammar or the composition of the above. You have a long ride between Miami and Washington. Perhaps some time with Strunck & White or Jacques Barzun might help. It would seem that a retroactive “F” might be in order.
It has been 19 years since my last gun fight. One police officer was dead before he hit the ground. Another was shot in his sternum. I helped him live. He later danced at my daughter’s wedding. I know what guns can do.
My question is simple.
When you attend these “traumatizing” funerals is there a different protocol for a “young black boy” being shot by a “young black boy” then there is for a “young black boy” being shot by a “young white boy”? Does “Amazing Grace” have different choruses depending on the race of the alleged perpetrator? Perhaps you could tell me the percentage of “young black boys” being shot by other “young black boys” versus being shot by “young white boys”?
If we are going to have “conversations” about race would it be intemperate of me to ask when the subject of the disintegration of the Black family will begin? Is there any chance that the heavy hand of the government, any government, will be included?
By the way, I really do like your hats.
Kevin Smith
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Pin The Tale On The Map
April 17, 2012
I officially disclose that Lord Barack the Beneficent is not – repeat – not the smartest guy ever to be President. Despite degrees from two different Ivy League schools I hereby declare him to be – A – not as smart as he thinks he is and - B – nowhere near as smart as the ass kissing toads in the main stream media believe and want him to be. Further, a strong case can be made for – C – him being as dumb as a box of starch.
He told us that Austrian was the official language of Austria.
Talk about “shovel ready: jobs in the endless “Summer of Recovery”!
All over the world landfills got their monthly quota in one wild, wet weekend of atlases and geography texts being exterminated with extreme prejudice.
New editions were rushed to press telling us that Belizean was the language of Belize. Albertan became the language of Alberta and Lichtensteinian became the language of Lichtenstein. New Ginny became the language of New Guinea while Old Ginny became the language of Guinea. Guinness was denied its appeal to make Guinnessian an official language.
Only 2 places resisted the call for change. Taking its cue from the Vatican’s refusal to make Vaticanian the new Latin Bayonne refused to print Bayonnian on its liquor licenses.
Graustarkia and Ruritania are ticked off because no one thought of them. It’s been all downhill since the last production of The Student Prince.
His next stab at geography came when he told us that that were “57 or 58 states”. Honest. He said that. Imagine if President Bush or Governor Palin had said that. The journalistic toads, servy boys all to the church of Modern American Liberalism, would have set Guinness records for going past arousal, foreplay, tumescence, and straight to severely randy knickers in their mad dash to scream DUMMY. God’s Holy Trousers but the New York Times would have declared a new holiday proclaiming “REPUBLICANS ARE STUPID”
Here’s a hint.
The number of stars on the flag equals the number of states. Always has. “Star spangled banner”. Remember? It went from 48 to 50 in 1959. You can look it up. You would think that somebody with his finger on the nuclear trigger would know that, wouldn’t you? If you did you would be wrong.
We have had an adult say that when Bahama Obama speaks he “gets a tingle running up his leg”. Another was awed because he was “watching over us like a God”. A 3rd scribe said he should be President because of the “perfect crease in his pant”. A Historian had but Yosama Bahama’s shadow fall upon him for him to proclaim that “he was the smartest President ever”. Had he but touched the hem of his garment the arguments concerning infallibility would have been over.
The rule to follow here is that people who believe in nothing will eventually believe in anything and anybody who says “Only gravity is holding us back”. He did say that “we are the ones we have been waiting for”. Thus was the meaning of solipsism expanded exponentially.
When he said he “would make the oceans recede and the planet cool” no one among us said “Huh”? No one said that he had no clothes on. No one said “Canute who”. Smart people had tears in their eyes. Really smart people said, “Fly Icarus, fly. This time we’ll all make it.”
Now this nit-wit speaks of the Falkland Islands, not as Las Malvinas, but as the Maldives. He’s only off by some 6,000 miles but who’s counting.
[As an aside, the 1960 Presidential Campaign gave us many things. The “Missile Gap”, TV debates, media bias, Daley of Chicago counting the votes over and over until he got the number he wanted inter alia. It also gave us some geography lessons. Quemoy and Matsu became the objects of many pop quizzes. If they were any closer to China they could get mainland take away. You wouldn’t need a bridge or a tunnel to get back and forth. All you would need is low tide. Their position makes the Falklands seem like they are within sight of Portsmouth. Senator Kennedy ended the discussion by saying “Any place is defensible if free men wish to defend it”.]
If it comes down to choosing between England and Argentina America would be well advised to remember several things:
#1 – Runnymede
#2 – Shakespeare
#3 – 1688
#4 – Samuel Johnson and Edmund Burke
#5 – Pax Britannica
#6 – Kipling and T.S. Eliot
#7 – Churchill
#8 – The presumption of innocence
#9 – Whisky
And perhaps as important as any of the above
#10 – 3 great Queens
On the other hand…
In the case of Argentina, despite living in a land blessed by God, a land not made habitable and arable by a fickle Gulf Stream, it has managed to make one permanent contribution to the Western Canon in almost 2 centuries of existence: The Tango. Think me not a cad if I point out that they stole that from the Eye-Ties. [Evita, one of the 20th century’s greatest Horizontal Tango performers, failed to make the cut, not because of lack of performance, but because of lack of longevity.]
This ohmadahn shouldn’t be allowed to handle sharp objects or operate heavy equipment.
I always believed that God both loved and blessed America.
He is going to have to prove it in spades between now and November.
“FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES”
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – The Alien and Sedition Act was repealed, wasn’t it?
I officially disclose that Lord Barack the Beneficent is not – repeat – not the smartest guy ever to be President. Despite degrees from two different Ivy League schools I hereby declare him to be – A – not as smart as he thinks he is and - B – nowhere near as smart as the ass kissing toads in the main stream media believe and want him to be. Further, a strong case can be made for – C – him being as dumb as a box of starch.
He told us that Austrian was the official language of Austria.
Talk about “shovel ready: jobs in the endless “Summer of Recovery”!
All over the world landfills got their monthly quota in one wild, wet weekend of atlases and geography texts being exterminated with extreme prejudice.
New editions were rushed to press telling us that Belizean was the language of Belize. Albertan became the language of Alberta and Lichtensteinian became the language of Lichtenstein. New Ginny became the language of New Guinea while Old Ginny became the language of Guinea. Guinness was denied its appeal to make Guinnessian an official language.
Only 2 places resisted the call for change. Taking its cue from the Vatican’s refusal to make Vaticanian the new Latin Bayonne refused to print Bayonnian on its liquor licenses.
Graustarkia and Ruritania are ticked off because no one thought of them. It’s been all downhill since the last production of The Student Prince.
His next stab at geography came when he told us that that were “57 or 58 states”. Honest. He said that. Imagine if President Bush or Governor Palin had said that. The journalistic toads, servy boys all to the church of Modern American Liberalism, would have set Guinness records for going past arousal, foreplay, tumescence, and straight to severely randy knickers in their mad dash to scream DUMMY. God’s Holy Trousers but the New York Times would have declared a new holiday proclaiming “REPUBLICANS ARE STUPID”
Here’s a hint.
The number of stars on the flag equals the number of states. Always has. “Star spangled banner”. Remember? It went from 48 to 50 in 1959. You can look it up. You would think that somebody with his finger on the nuclear trigger would know that, wouldn’t you? If you did you would be wrong.
We have had an adult say that when Bahama Obama speaks he “gets a tingle running up his leg”. Another was awed because he was “watching over us like a God”. A 3rd scribe said he should be President because of the “perfect crease in his pant”. A Historian had but Yosama Bahama’s shadow fall upon him for him to proclaim that “he was the smartest President ever”. Had he but touched the hem of his garment the arguments concerning infallibility would have been over.
The rule to follow here is that people who believe in nothing will eventually believe in anything and anybody who says “Only gravity is holding us back”. He did say that “we are the ones we have been waiting for”. Thus was the meaning of solipsism expanded exponentially.
When he said he “would make the oceans recede and the planet cool” no one among us said “Huh”? No one said that he had no clothes on. No one said “Canute who”. Smart people had tears in their eyes. Really smart people said, “Fly Icarus, fly. This time we’ll all make it.”
Now this nit-wit speaks of the Falkland Islands, not as Las Malvinas, but as the Maldives. He’s only off by some 6,000 miles but who’s counting.
[As an aside, the 1960 Presidential Campaign gave us many things. The “Missile Gap”, TV debates, media bias, Daley of Chicago counting the votes over and over until he got the number he wanted inter alia. It also gave us some geography lessons. Quemoy and Matsu became the objects of many pop quizzes. If they were any closer to China they could get mainland take away. You wouldn’t need a bridge or a tunnel to get back and forth. All you would need is low tide. Their position makes the Falklands seem like they are within sight of Portsmouth. Senator Kennedy ended the discussion by saying “Any place is defensible if free men wish to defend it”.]
If it comes down to choosing between England and Argentina America would be well advised to remember several things:
#1 – Runnymede
#2 – Shakespeare
#3 – 1688
#4 – Samuel Johnson and Edmund Burke
#5 – Pax Britannica
#6 – Kipling and T.S. Eliot
#7 – Churchill
#8 – The presumption of innocence
#9 – Whisky
And perhaps as important as any of the above
#10 – 3 great Queens
On the other hand…
In the case of Argentina, despite living in a land blessed by God, a land not made habitable and arable by a fickle Gulf Stream, it has managed to make one permanent contribution to the Western Canon in almost 2 centuries of existence: The Tango. Think me not a cad if I point out that they stole that from the Eye-Ties. [Evita, one of the 20th century’s greatest Horizontal Tango performers, failed to make the cut, not because of lack of performance, but because of lack of longevity.]
This ohmadahn shouldn’t be allowed to handle sharp objects or operate heavy equipment.
I always believed that God both loved and blessed America.
He is going to have to prove it in spades between now and November.
“FREE MEN SPEAK WITH FREE TONGUES”
Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
PS – The Alien and Sedition Act was repealed, wasn’t it?
Monday, April 16, 2012
Ruth Marcus The Washington Post Writers’ Group
April 16, 2012
Ruth Marcus
The Washington Post Writers’ Group
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: What the Hell is that smell? – Some comments on your friend of the working girl column in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Marcus,
Only a die hard, card carrying modern American Liberal ink stained wench can say without wetting her drawers – I think – that what Hilary Rosen said about Ann Romney was wrong while it was also right. Shades of Dan Rather!
Some dead Greek said that “something cannot be what it is not” but what did he know anyway.
Let’s take a peek at some distaff modern American Liberal favorites.
#1 – What did Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt do to shine up her husband’s image with the working class? Other than setting the standard for turning a blind eye to a philandering husband that stood until Hillary Clinton got to the White House what exactly did she do? No wonder she and Hillary channeled post mortem.
#2 – Did Lady Bird Johnson bring her famous possum, armadillo road kill stew to Duval County where her husband with the legal help of Abe Fortas stole the Senate election of 1948?
#3 – Did Jackie Kennedy tell coal miners’ wives in Herndon, West Virginia of the difficulties in getting fresh endives and chard to braise? Did she tell them about the problems in having to choose between black truffles and its white Italian cousin? The ladies in Logan surely were impressed with the age old conflict between Burgundy and Bordeaux, right? Her lectures on Queen Ann furniture surely turned the tide for her husband. This was back when Kleagle Byrd was still burning crosses and harassing nigrahs, wasn’t he?
#4 – What particular working class life experiences did my favorite mad cap Gypsy lady, Tereza Heinz Kerry, bring to the campaign in 2004? Her complaints about Pratesi not making summer frocks were well known. Did she share them with voters in Ohio? I too wanted Asprey to open a store in this country but that couldn’t be in the Democratic Party platform. I know that you and your husband Jay Forbes Kerry had the first Burberry toilet paper in this country. I am sure the people in the panhandles of Florida and Oklahoma would have responded well to that if presented sensitively. Her speech at the Democratic convention lacked only her saying “Don’t Cry for me Mozambique”. She should have been allowed to bring her stuffed cheetah out. It wasn’t stuffed when she first played with it.
Put them all in a bag and you still wouldn’t get half of Ma Joad. Can you imagine any of them saying, “We are the people”? Not even Mel Brooks could stage that.
Although you get a super-sized IV of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” booster you carry a back pack sized inhaler lest you stumble onto the truth this time the ordure is curling my nose hair and “my short and curlies”.
You and your ilk are beyond hypocrisy. A monumental hubris born of confusing feelings with ideas, of making expectations rather results the goal, of “trying to make a society so perfect that no one will ever have to be good”, enables you to sneer with contempt at anyone who doesn’t goose step to your imbecilic dogma.
Dante is busy building a new circle for you.
Kevin Smith
Ruth Marcus
The Washington Post Writers’ Group
1150 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20071
RE: What the Hell is that smell? – Some comments on your friend of the working girl column in today’s Miami Herald.
Ms. Marcus,
Only a die hard, card carrying modern American Liberal ink stained wench can say without wetting her drawers – I think – that what Hilary Rosen said about Ann Romney was wrong while it was also right. Shades of Dan Rather!
Some dead Greek said that “something cannot be what it is not” but what did he know anyway.
Let’s take a peek at some distaff modern American Liberal favorites.
#1 – What did Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt do to shine up her husband’s image with the working class? Other than setting the standard for turning a blind eye to a philandering husband that stood until Hillary Clinton got to the White House what exactly did she do? No wonder she and Hillary channeled post mortem.
#2 – Did Lady Bird Johnson bring her famous possum, armadillo road kill stew to Duval County where her husband with the legal help of Abe Fortas stole the Senate election of 1948?
#3 – Did Jackie Kennedy tell coal miners’ wives in Herndon, West Virginia of the difficulties in getting fresh endives and chard to braise? Did she tell them about the problems in having to choose between black truffles and its white Italian cousin? The ladies in Logan surely were impressed with the age old conflict between Burgundy and Bordeaux, right? Her lectures on Queen Ann furniture surely turned the tide for her husband. This was back when Kleagle Byrd was still burning crosses and harassing nigrahs, wasn’t he?
#4 – What particular working class life experiences did my favorite mad cap Gypsy lady, Tereza Heinz Kerry, bring to the campaign in 2004? Her complaints about Pratesi not making summer frocks were well known. Did she share them with voters in Ohio? I too wanted Asprey to open a store in this country but that couldn’t be in the Democratic Party platform. I know that you and your husband Jay Forbes Kerry had the first Burberry toilet paper in this country. I am sure the people in the panhandles of Florida and Oklahoma would have responded well to that if presented sensitively. Her speech at the Democratic convention lacked only her saying “Don’t Cry for me Mozambique”. She should have been allowed to bring her stuffed cheetah out. It wasn’t stuffed when she first played with it.
Put them all in a bag and you still wouldn’t get half of Ma Joad. Can you imagine any of them saying, “We are the people”? Not even Mel Brooks could stage that.
Although you get a super-sized IV of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” booster you carry a back pack sized inhaler lest you stumble onto the truth this time the ordure is curling my nose hair and “my short and curlies”.
You and your ilk are beyond hypocrisy. A monumental hubris born of confusing feelings with ideas, of making expectations rather results the goal, of “trying to make a society so perfect that no one will ever have to be good”, enables you to sneer with contempt at anyone who doesn’t goose step to your imbecilic dogma.
Dante is busy building a new circle for you.
Kevin Smith
I am glad that Bill Maher said “Ann Romney has never gotten her ass out of the house to work”.
April 16, 2012
I am glad that Bill Maher said “Ann Romney has never gotten her ass out of the house to work”.
Since Maher, a lickspittle toad shilling for the Church of Modern American Liberalism, has brought up the subject of asses that makes all asses fair game.
Before I focus on the ass in the White House – hers, not him – I wish to praise some favorite asses from the past.
Alfred Hitchcock, Oliver Hardy, Jane Darwell, Aunt Jemima, and Orson Welles had at least one thing in common. They all had world class backsides. But they did things. They left footprints. We remember their asses fondly.
Bella Abzug had a classic ass.
It began at the L3 portion of her spine. It eventually covered both of her quadriceps. Richter took notice when she trotted. She stood up in layers. Her foundation garments were made of titanium. Her frequent bouts of diarrhea triggered a Haz-Mat response. Her proctologist wore a wet suit. She put her toilet tissue purchase out for bid. She had the first rebar hip replacement. Putting her ass in a sling required the services of a large animal vet. Say what you will about her liberal fascist policies she had a truly memorable Ass.
Barbara Boxer, less so.
The thing that she did to make it memorable was the way she scratched it. She didn’t just take a stab at it. She didn’t just wave at it. She had wee Black & Decker drills implanted into her fingers. Her knickers were made from thread taken from selectively aborted worms – Thanks, Dr. Mengele! – and Kevlar [happy pastel colors]
Modern American Liberals have a habit of having one photo define their public lives.
Senator Lard Kennedy wearing a neck brace after he drowned my neighbor’s classmate; Former Ku Klux Klan Kleagle Robert Byrd, a man who doubled as the Democratic majority leader in the Senate, twice using the dreaded “N” word on national TV and suffering no consequences from it; Jimmy Carter versus the killer rabbit; Michael Dukakis in a tank; Senator Jay Forbes Kerry in a rabbit suit; and Congresswoman Boxer walking up the stairs of the Senate scratching her ass as if her life depended on it.
She was going over to protest the nomination of Judge Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. She scratched her ass in a manner that made grown men weep. “What did it do to deserve that?” was the cry of photographers. She had a ribbed, multi speed ass scratcher. She had an intern on each cheek smoothing out her skirt lest it ride up to her neck.
Hopefully, I have established that I am not anti-Ass. I Iike a nice ass as much as the next guy. I was glad to see that Jennifer Lopez, for years the unquestioned owner of the most perfect ass in Christendom, now has some serious competition with the sudden appearance of Pippa Middleton. She has an ass worthy of being wrapped in purple and “setting an ashtray on it”.
I’m available for lunch if she ever gets over here. I have friends in Henley-in-Arden who can vouch for me.
It’s time now to focus on the ass du jour. It, all of it, belongs to Michelle Obama. Say this for her: She got her ass out of the house to work.
Despite degrees from 2 Ivy League schools she apparently was not overburdened by ambition. While feeling decidedly “unproud” of her country for not forgiving her school debts she managed to hook up, after a nationwide search, as the head of the Affirmative Action Bed Pan Study Group at the University of Chicago Hospital. The first thing her husband did for her when he was elected to the United States Senate was to get her a raise. One of the things she can share with – to cite Hilary Rosen – the waitress in the middle of Nevada is to have your husband get elected to the United States Senate. Once he is in DC he too can get you a raise. In Michele’s case it was $4,000 – repeat - $4,000 a week. That’s more than $200,000 a year. The math was simple. He sent her employer $1,000,000 – repeat - $1,000,000 to report on the medical consequences of shouting “DA BULLS” and “DA BEARS” at the next public meeting of Minister Louie Farrakhan.
The money got there just in time.
If you think supporting a crack habit is tough just try to score 5 dozen Amazon leeches form South of Carmenmirandaville every day.
She had long given up on small chain saws as abraders and ass jumping Sumo wrestlers as pounders to keep “it” under control, “it” being her ass.
Leeches were the best.
Not just any leeches.
Female leeches in estrus.
Male leeches with a blue veiner that a cat couldn’t scratch.
Lady Leech would fasten on to one of her Rubenesque fanny packs for some chow. Lord Leech would jump on her and penetrate them both. His goal was two-fold. Some chow and some trim. A win/win/win all around!
Lady Leech was purring. Lord Leech was reaching for his smokes. Michele kept her ass in check until noon.
Sometimes Lady Leech had the cramps. Sometimes Lord Leech had a flaccid stinger. That’s why you can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many leeches.
Once her husband becomes unemployed she is going to set sale and size records in the Wal-Mart Spanx/Spandex aisles.
She is going to get an ass that coyotes could nest in.
Thank God she flies in a wide body jet. Put her ass in an F-16 and it would be non-stop to the end to the end of the runway.
I understand that the Secret Service calls her Moon Pie when she is walking towards them and Jemima when she waddles past them.
I was sitting in a kitchen in a house on 30th Street in the Holy city of Bayonne some 20 years ago. I was with the father of the quarterback we were going to see play that night. In the dining room was the quarterback’s mother dancing with his youngest sister. The song was “Achy Breaky Heart” by Miley’s dad. In the kitchen the quarterback’s father, his sister’s father, and the dancing Momma’s husband, a man known for his wit, his repartee, and his Noel Cowardesque salon palaver said, “She’s got a pretty nice ass for a 45 year old broad with 3 kids”. That she did.
Ann Romney has 5 kids and about 15 years on the Bayonne paradigm. Her ass looks OK to me.
If Michele gets a PET- Scan it will take 12 gallons of industrial strength KY jelly to get her into the tunnel. It will take a block and tackle and 6 mules to get her out.
I am glad to see that the “ass” debate is taking on Lincoln/Douglas stature. Next stop Burke/Fox.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
I am glad that Bill Maher said “Ann Romney has never gotten her ass out of the house to work”.
Since Maher, a lickspittle toad shilling for the Church of Modern American Liberalism, has brought up the subject of asses that makes all asses fair game.
Before I focus on the ass in the White House – hers, not him – I wish to praise some favorite asses from the past.
Alfred Hitchcock, Oliver Hardy, Jane Darwell, Aunt Jemima, and Orson Welles had at least one thing in common. They all had world class backsides. But they did things. They left footprints. We remember their asses fondly.
Bella Abzug had a classic ass.
It began at the L3 portion of her spine. It eventually covered both of her quadriceps. Richter took notice when she trotted. She stood up in layers. Her foundation garments were made of titanium. Her frequent bouts of diarrhea triggered a Haz-Mat response. Her proctologist wore a wet suit. She put her toilet tissue purchase out for bid. She had the first rebar hip replacement. Putting her ass in a sling required the services of a large animal vet. Say what you will about her liberal fascist policies she had a truly memorable Ass.
Barbara Boxer, less so.
The thing that she did to make it memorable was the way she scratched it. She didn’t just take a stab at it. She didn’t just wave at it. She had wee Black & Decker drills implanted into her fingers. Her knickers were made from thread taken from selectively aborted worms – Thanks, Dr. Mengele! – and Kevlar [happy pastel colors]
Modern American Liberals have a habit of having one photo define their public lives.
Senator Lard Kennedy wearing a neck brace after he drowned my neighbor’s classmate; Former Ku Klux Klan Kleagle Robert Byrd, a man who doubled as the Democratic majority leader in the Senate, twice using the dreaded “N” word on national TV and suffering no consequences from it; Jimmy Carter versus the killer rabbit; Michael Dukakis in a tank; Senator Jay Forbes Kerry in a rabbit suit; and Congresswoman Boxer walking up the stairs of the Senate scratching her ass as if her life depended on it.
She was going over to protest the nomination of Judge Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. She scratched her ass in a manner that made grown men weep. “What did it do to deserve that?” was the cry of photographers. She had a ribbed, multi speed ass scratcher. She had an intern on each cheek smoothing out her skirt lest it ride up to her neck.
Hopefully, I have established that I am not anti-Ass. I Iike a nice ass as much as the next guy. I was glad to see that Jennifer Lopez, for years the unquestioned owner of the most perfect ass in Christendom, now has some serious competition with the sudden appearance of Pippa Middleton. She has an ass worthy of being wrapped in purple and “setting an ashtray on it”.
I’m available for lunch if she ever gets over here. I have friends in Henley-in-Arden who can vouch for me.
It’s time now to focus on the ass du jour. It, all of it, belongs to Michelle Obama. Say this for her: She got her ass out of the house to work.
Despite degrees from 2 Ivy League schools she apparently was not overburdened by ambition. While feeling decidedly “unproud” of her country for not forgiving her school debts she managed to hook up, after a nationwide search, as the head of the Affirmative Action Bed Pan Study Group at the University of Chicago Hospital. The first thing her husband did for her when he was elected to the United States Senate was to get her a raise. One of the things she can share with – to cite Hilary Rosen – the waitress in the middle of Nevada is to have your husband get elected to the United States Senate. Once he is in DC he too can get you a raise. In Michele’s case it was $4,000 – repeat - $4,000 a week. That’s more than $200,000 a year. The math was simple. He sent her employer $1,000,000 – repeat - $1,000,000 to report on the medical consequences of shouting “DA BULLS” and “DA BEARS” at the next public meeting of Minister Louie Farrakhan.
The money got there just in time.
If you think supporting a crack habit is tough just try to score 5 dozen Amazon leeches form South of Carmenmirandaville every day.
She had long given up on small chain saws as abraders and ass jumping Sumo wrestlers as pounders to keep “it” under control, “it” being her ass.
Leeches were the best.
Not just any leeches.
Female leeches in estrus.
Male leeches with a blue veiner that a cat couldn’t scratch.
Lady Leech would fasten on to one of her Rubenesque fanny packs for some chow. Lord Leech would jump on her and penetrate them both. His goal was two-fold. Some chow and some trim. A win/win/win all around!
Lady Leech was purring. Lord Leech was reaching for his smokes. Michele kept her ass in check until noon.
Sometimes Lady Leech had the cramps. Sometimes Lord Leech had a flaccid stinger. That’s why you can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many leeches.
Once her husband becomes unemployed she is going to set sale and size records in the Wal-Mart Spanx/Spandex aisles.
She is going to get an ass that coyotes could nest in.
Thank God she flies in a wide body jet. Put her ass in an F-16 and it would be non-stop to the end to the end of the runway.
I understand that the Secret Service calls her Moon Pie when she is walking towards them and Jemima when she waddles past them.
I was sitting in a kitchen in a house on 30th Street in the Holy city of Bayonne some 20 years ago. I was with the father of the quarterback we were going to see play that night. In the dining room was the quarterback’s mother dancing with his youngest sister. The song was “Achy Breaky Heart” by Miley’s dad. In the kitchen the quarterback’s father, his sister’s father, and the dancing Momma’s husband, a man known for his wit, his repartee, and his Noel Cowardesque salon palaver said, “She’s got a pretty nice ass for a 45 year old broad with 3 kids”. That she did.
Ann Romney has 5 kids and about 15 years on the Bayonne paradigm. Her ass looks OK to me.
If Michele gets a PET- Scan it will take 12 gallons of industrial strength KY jelly to get her into the tunnel. It will take a block and tackle and 6 mules to get her out.
I am glad to see that the “ass” debate is taking on Lincoln/Douglas stature. Next stop Burke/Fox.
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Letter to the Editor The Sun Sentinel
April 15, 2012
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “I know that my redeemer liveth” – Some comments on your breathtakingly, egregiously stupendous opinion page in today’s Sun Sentinel
Sirs,
First, the column on “bullying” by Noelle Nikpour
“All History is biography; all biography is anecdote.”
I solved a bullying incident involving my daughter the old fashioned way.
My daughter was being harassed and threatened by another girl who was 2 grades ahead of her. The principal – AKA ”Roland the Worm” – did nothing. I drove my car onto the lawn of the house where the bully lived. I told her father who was standing behind his wife that if my daughter were harassed, threatened, or bullied from this day on I would beat him so badly that he would not be recognizable. Further, I told him I would take my chances with a jury.
This may not be a universal solution but it worked for me. Besides, it’s what a father is supposed to do. More importantly, it worked for my daughter.
Second, the lamentations of Big Stein.
I find it the height of hubris that a modern American Liberal carps about legislators lacking “guts” because they don’t agree with his thunderbolts of wisdom. All it would take to be transported to the land of milk and honey would be the repeal of the laws governing gravity. That will happen as soon as he elects half plus one plus a governor who subscribe to his views, such as they are. He has his work cut out for him so give him some time off to proselytize.
Stein cites 30,000 as the number of gun deaths a year. It is a numbing statistic. My last gunfight was almost 19 years ago. One police officer was dead before he hit the ground. Another was shot in the sternum by a .357 magnum from 7 feet. He lived. He also danced at my daughter’s wedding. I know what a bullet can do at close range.
I offer another statistic.
1,500,000 abortions since 1973. 58,500,000 total. Between 35% and 40% of them are performed on Black women. 6% of the population has killed as many as 25,000,000 people. That is a numbing statistic. A case for government sponsored genocide could be easily made, no? Where’s Al Sharpton when we really need him?
2 small points: Alas, they are both like baby turds in the punch bowl because they are inconveniently true and they pop up from time to time.
A – Switzerland has the highest gun ownership rate in the world. It makes Southern West Virginia and the South Bronx look like Vatican City. It also has the world’s lowest crime rate. We all can’t move there but perhaps we could replace the national anthem with guys in short pants yodeling. What was it that Harry Lime said about the cuckoo clock?
B – In a way exclusively available to board certified modern American Liberals, people who still believe that Julie and Ethel didn’t do “it”, Alger couldn’t have done “it” and that the world would have been a better place if Henry Wallace had been elected, he picks and chooses his facts. For any student of the Founding Fathers his reference to Thomas Jefferson is like finger nails on the blackboard.
It was James Madison and George Mason, his lesser known buddy, who snuck in the part about guns. On a lighter note, Ken Jenne, Broward’s ex-sheriff and ex-con, was the only public official to advocate the repeal of the 3rd Amendment. You may want to look that one up.
On to Steverino.
#3 – I am not a fan of tinkering with any part of the Constitution Since modern American Liberals insist that it is a living, breathing document I might make an exception for Professor Goldstein. I refer to the part about Bills of Attainder. Why not see if flogging, bastinado, and the return of the strapado while listening to hip hop rap at 124 decibels have any saving graces? He would be a good start.
About the vote in Bush v Gore…
The vote on the equal protection portion was 7 - 2 in favor of Bush. The 5 – 4 vote was on a procedural matter of whether or not to accept the case. It is a sublime irony of the highest order that if Robert Bork had been confirmed in 1987 he would have voted against accepting the case. Beware of what you wish for.
Once again facts intrude on Stevie’s tired polemic.
In the years between Bush v Gore and Citizens United 1/3rd of the Supreme Court changed.
Stevie says that Justices Breyer, Ginsburg, Sotomayor, and Kagan will “never” [his term] vote against Obamacare [my term]. I guess he doesn’t know – maybe he doesn’t want to know – that all the above named Justices voted with the majority on certain parts of the Citizens decision.
Incidentally, if the Court has been made better by the addition of a “wise Latina” do you think it has been made better by the addition of 2 “wise Italians”, not to mention 6 practicing Roman Catholics?
Stevie’s sobriquet,
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK,
is one that he never fails to renew.
One more question plus to Big Stein and Stevie before we move on to Congresswoman Frederica Wilson, today’s target of opportunity.
If Mrs. Romney is unfit to comment on anything because her wealth would preclude her from knowing anything of the real world why wasn’t the same standard applied to Madcap Gypsy Lady Tereza Heinz Kerry? The easiest way to commit suicide would be to jump off her billfold. She gave her husband a $7,000,000,000 yacht as a tip, presumably for services rendered. Which of life’s lessons could she have offered to the single mom, a woman of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program, who is being exploited by the low prices at Wal-Mart? I know that Jackie Kennedy helped her husband in his campaign in West Virginia by telling the coal miners’ wives in Logan that their husbands would appreciate water cress or arugula in their baloney and relish sandwiches. Little things like that, plus Poppa Joe’s swag, swung the election
#4 – Congresswoman Frederica Wilson is known for her lavish hats. It is rumored that she wears them when she showers. The real reason she wears them is to keep her brains from falling out.
She picks “Timothy” as her paradigm for feral Black youth – urban style. The woes that “Timoth” must endure are caused by the dreaded Florida FCATs. It is a state wide standardized test to see if – forgive me – the students are learning anything.
Once “Timothy” fails his FCATs he won’t be able to get a high school diploma. Because of that he won’t be able to get a job. Then when he is confronted with White America’s racist insistence on a photo ID to vote “Timothy” will turn to a life of drugs, crime, and the Homeric fathering of children.
She says “not every child needs a college degree”.
I say nay.
Let every “Timothy” who gets past the abortionist’s death hook be given a Bachelor’s degree when his birth is registered.
Later, if he can get a high school diploma to go with it, “Timothy’s” future will be secured.
I understand that Congresswoman Wilson was a school principal. I pity those children. It’s too late for them but let’s start with a new rule: The History teacher, in fact all teachers, must be held to the high standard imposed on the football coach. It’s too late for her. Her tale implies that all that is needed is more teachers being paid more money and the problem will be solved. We will not just see National Merit Scholars but we will see Nobel Prize winners two stepping to Elgar. It sounds like the “shovel ready” jobs plan. How has that worked out?
The Logical progression of her column is since umbrellas cause rain blue skies will be the result of banning umbrellas. Maybe it is the opposite. Maybe twice as many umbrellas – no government can ever cut back on any function – will mean half as much rain spread out to preclude dry seasons. Maybe. I think. All that is needed is a plea for the poor polar bears and the return of Midnight Basketball.
How many “Timothys” has she consigned to the Gahennas of ghetto life? The difference between her and an abortionist is that she only kills the spirit.
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
God bless America!
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
Letter to the Editor
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394
RE: “I know that my redeemer liveth” – Some comments on your breathtakingly, egregiously stupendous opinion page in today’s Sun Sentinel
Sirs,
First, the column on “bullying” by Noelle Nikpour
“All History is biography; all biography is anecdote.”
I solved a bullying incident involving my daughter the old fashioned way.
My daughter was being harassed and threatened by another girl who was 2 grades ahead of her. The principal – AKA ”Roland the Worm” – did nothing. I drove my car onto the lawn of the house where the bully lived. I told her father who was standing behind his wife that if my daughter were harassed, threatened, or bullied from this day on I would beat him so badly that he would not be recognizable. Further, I told him I would take my chances with a jury.
This may not be a universal solution but it worked for me. Besides, it’s what a father is supposed to do. More importantly, it worked for my daughter.
Second, the lamentations of Big Stein.
I find it the height of hubris that a modern American Liberal carps about legislators lacking “guts” because they don’t agree with his thunderbolts of wisdom. All it would take to be transported to the land of milk and honey would be the repeal of the laws governing gravity. That will happen as soon as he elects half plus one plus a governor who subscribe to his views, such as they are. He has his work cut out for him so give him some time off to proselytize.
Stein cites 30,000 as the number of gun deaths a year. It is a numbing statistic. My last gunfight was almost 19 years ago. One police officer was dead before he hit the ground. Another was shot in the sternum by a .357 magnum from 7 feet. He lived. He also danced at my daughter’s wedding. I know what a bullet can do at close range.
I offer another statistic.
1,500,000 abortions since 1973. 58,500,000 total. Between 35% and 40% of them are performed on Black women. 6% of the population has killed as many as 25,000,000 people. That is a numbing statistic. A case for government sponsored genocide could be easily made, no? Where’s Al Sharpton when we really need him?
2 small points: Alas, they are both like baby turds in the punch bowl because they are inconveniently true and they pop up from time to time.
A – Switzerland has the highest gun ownership rate in the world. It makes Southern West Virginia and the South Bronx look like Vatican City. It also has the world’s lowest crime rate. We all can’t move there but perhaps we could replace the national anthem with guys in short pants yodeling. What was it that Harry Lime said about the cuckoo clock?
B – In a way exclusively available to board certified modern American Liberals, people who still believe that Julie and Ethel didn’t do “it”, Alger couldn’t have done “it” and that the world would have been a better place if Henry Wallace had been elected, he picks and chooses his facts. For any student of the Founding Fathers his reference to Thomas Jefferson is like finger nails on the blackboard.
It was James Madison and George Mason, his lesser known buddy, who snuck in the part about guns. On a lighter note, Ken Jenne, Broward’s ex-sheriff and ex-con, was the only public official to advocate the repeal of the 3rd Amendment. You may want to look that one up.
On to Steverino.
#3 – I am not a fan of tinkering with any part of the Constitution Since modern American Liberals insist that it is a living, breathing document I might make an exception for Professor Goldstein. I refer to the part about Bills of Attainder. Why not see if flogging, bastinado, and the return of the strapado while listening to hip hop rap at 124 decibels have any saving graces? He would be a good start.
About the vote in Bush v Gore…
The vote on the equal protection portion was 7 - 2 in favor of Bush. The 5 – 4 vote was on a procedural matter of whether or not to accept the case. It is a sublime irony of the highest order that if Robert Bork had been confirmed in 1987 he would have voted against accepting the case. Beware of what you wish for.
Once again facts intrude on Stevie’s tired polemic.
In the years between Bush v Gore and Citizens United 1/3rd of the Supreme Court changed.
Stevie says that Justices Breyer, Ginsburg, Sotomayor, and Kagan will “never” [his term] vote against Obamacare [my term]. I guess he doesn’t know – maybe he doesn’t want to know – that all the above named Justices voted with the majority on certain parts of the Citizens decision.
Incidentally, if the Court has been made better by the addition of a “wise Latina” do you think it has been made better by the addition of 2 “wise Italians”, not to mention 6 practicing Roman Catholics?
Stevie’s sobriquet,
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK,
is one that he never fails to renew.
One more question plus to Big Stein and Stevie before we move on to Congresswoman Frederica Wilson, today’s target of opportunity.
If Mrs. Romney is unfit to comment on anything because her wealth would preclude her from knowing anything of the real world why wasn’t the same standard applied to Madcap Gypsy Lady Tereza Heinz Kerry? The easiest way to commit suicide would be to jump off her billfold. She gave her husband a $7,000,000,000 yacht as a tip, presumably for services rendered. Which of life’s lessons could she have offered to the single mom, a woman of color with children in need of a good Ritalin program, who is being exploited by the low prices at Wal-Mart? I know that Jackie Kennedy helped her husband in his campaign in West Virginia by telling the coal miners’ wives in Logan that their husbands would appreciate water cress or arugula in their baloney and relish sandwiches. Little things like that, plus Poppa Joe’s swag, swung the election
#4 – Congresswoman Frederica Wilson is known for her lavish hats. It is rumored that she wears them when she showers. The real reason she wears them is to keep her brains from falling out.
She picks “Timothy” as her paradigm for feral Black youth – urban style. The woes that “Timoth” must endure are caused by the dreaded Florida FCATs. It is a state wide standardized test to see if – forgive me – the students are learning anything.
Once “Timothy” fails his FCATs he won’t be able to get a high school diploma. Because of that he won’t be able to get a job. Then when he is confronted with White America’s racist insistence on a photo ID to vote “Timothy” will turn to a life of drugs, crime, and the Homeric fathering of children.
She says “not every child needs a college degree”.
I say nay.
Let every “Timothy” who gets past the abortionist’s death hook be given a Bachelor’s degree when his birth is registered.
Later, if he can get a high school diploma to go with it, “Timothy’s” future will be secured.
I understand that Congresswoman Wilson was a school principal. I pity those children. It’s too late for them but let’s start with a new rule: The History teacher, in fact all teachers, must be held to the high standard imposed on the football coach. It’s too late for her. Her tale implies that all that is needed is more teachers being paid more money and the problem will be solved. We will not just see National Merit Scholars but we will see Nobel Prize winners two stepping to Elgar. It sounds like the “shovel ready” jobs plan. How has that worked out?
The Logical progression of her column is since umbrellas cause rain blue skies will be the result of banning umbrellas. Maybe it is the opposite. Maybe twice as many umbrellas – no government can ever cut back on any function – will mean half as much rain spread out to preclude dry seasons. Maybe. I think. All that is needed is a plea for the poor polar bears and the return of Midnight Basketball.
How many “Timothys” has she consigned to the Gahennas of ghetto life? The difference between her and an abortionist is that she only kills the spirit.
Sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
God bless America!
KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET
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